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So petty of me in the great scheme of things but....

(37 Posts)
LRavenscroft Fri 16-Sep-22 17:41:53

Just spent the afternoon having tea with three old friends who I have only seen three times since Covid lockdown and I came away feeling totally depressed. No one even bothered to ask how I was or let me get in a word edgeway and when it came to pay one paid for the other two and left me out. Not that I wanted her to pay for me but it was done with a flourish of I'll pay for you two and not you. So, my decision on this very petty matter is not to make myself available anymore. There is a world in turmoil, our Queen has passed away and we are facing a stormy winter. I am worth more than being in a group like this. I hasten to add that I have several other sets of friends who are a delight to spend time with. Life is too short.

Calendargirl Fri 16-Sep-22 17:45:25

Don’t sound like very nice friends.

Greenfinch Fri 16-Sep-22 17:47:24

I can’t believe anyone would do that to you. Turn your back on them and enjoy life with your other friends.

Sparklefizz Fri 16-Sep-22 17:47:44

Yes, LRavenscroft, life's too short. They are disappointing and not very nice friends, so let them go.

Davida1968 Fri 16-Sep-22 17:58:36

I agree, L. My advice is; don't bother with these thoughtless people & simply focus on your REAL friends. Some years ago I made a similar decision (about one totally self-centred friend) & I've never regretted it. As you say, life is too short.

LauraNorderr Fri 16-Sep-22 18:04:55

Could it be that the other two had paid for that friend previously and the friend owed them?
If so, it would have been polite to explain.
If not, it was mean and very rude.
Either way I’d try to forget about it and continue to enjoy your real friends.

Smileless2012 Fri 16-Sep-22 18:05:07

Life is too short Ravenscroft so enjoy the company of real friends.

JaneJudge Fri 16-Sep-22 18:08:19

I'd have been upset too sad

henetha Fri 16-Sep-22 18:13:29

They are not real friends at all, are they. And I don't blame you for being hurt.

Luckygirl3 Fri 16-Sep-22 18:27:38

Not petty - your "friend" was insulting and out of order. Of course it upset you.

Madgran77 Fri 16-Sep-22 18:31:21

They are not friends. Why waste your time when you could be doing something you enjoy!!

Grammaretto Fri 16-Sep-22 18:36:19

Ugh! How mean and rude.

ExDancer Fri 16-Sep-22 18:58:26

Who organised the meet-up?

sodapop Fri 16-Sep-22 21:01:52

Madgran77

They are not friends. Why waste your time when you could be doing something you enjoy!!

Absolutely agree with Madgran

Georgesgran Fri 16-Sep-22 21:04:03

Yes, very rude and cruel too. I don’t think you’re being petty. Time to move on with your other friends.

Urmstongran Fri 16-Sep-22 21:10:47

Sounds as though there was parity and presidence amongst the other three at the table. Fair enough. But the one paying didn’t explain and so you felt awkward and excluded from ‘the group’. Understandably so.

Some people just have no self awareness. I don’t even know why I’m surprised any more by some people’s crass behaviour. It beggars belief at times.

You’re well out of it OP.

Allsorts Fri 16-Sep-22 21:12:38

They are not friends. I would rather be on my own than feel excluded.

Shinamae Fri 16-Sep-22 21:22:01

Nasty,nasty thing to do and I would not be forgiving it… I would cut all ties with her straight away but that’s me..

Fleurpepper Fri 16-Sep-22 21:24:22

Very sorry to hear, but not surprised you came away feeling upset. Don't make a rash decision, and take a few days to consider your options. Perhaps organise something on your own terms next time and leaving the one out?!?

Jaxjacky Fri 16-Sep-22 21:27:45

Nothing petty at all, downright rude and you’re well out of it.

crazyH Fri 16-Sep-22 21:31:25

With friends like that, who needs enemies. You’re well rid of them.

kircubbin2000 Fri 16-Sep-22 21:51:59

Lots of people are like this. I joined a bridge 4 and one lady left me out of all the conversations by talking about people I didn't know and events the other 2,who were her old friends,had attended.She made no effort to get to know me.

notgran Fri 16-Sep-22 22:45:03

I'd certainly take the hint.

argymargy Sat 17-Sep-22 07:59:01

kircubbin2000

Lots of people are like this. I joined a bridge 4 and one lady left me out of all the conversations by talking about people I didn't know and events the other 2,who were her old friends,had attended.She made no effort to get to know me.

But the OP says they were old friends, so this is quite different. I agree they are not worth keeping, OP.

Gingster Sat 17-Sep-22 08:06:25

How strange!
Keep to your delightful friends and forget these others. Life’s too short.