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Colleague taking advantage

(35 Posts)
AliceS Wed 06-Jul-22 18:18:33

I am the only member of my team who manages a building. However I work with a man from a security company so there are two of us. We have to get on as there's no manager on site. We've had no rows. However, just recently I feel he has been taking advantage. Whilst I am not his manager, he goes on several breaks at a time. I get in before him and take only an hour for an 8 hour day. He is praying behind the frontline counter (there's a partition there but he does this as I'm about to leave and get access to things in the same area). I do not want to have a chat with my line manager but I have a lot of work to process from my manager whilst he either goes to Tesco, takes his lunch, makes a phone call etc, disappears in the toilet for 20 minutes. Then his second friend from the security company turns up at 3pm and they are muttering to themselves. I am temping so feel in a vulnerable situation, and I realise if I say anything to my manager then it will get into a 'he said, she said.' I felt grumpy at the end of my shift today as the two guys were muttering to themselves. Didn't confront colleague but he is always off doing his own thing. Any advice?

Jens Thu 07-Jul-22 13:54:55

Sorry, do etching should be something.
Houst is HOIST.
I seriously wonder just what polices the script!!!! Their correction is awful.

ExDancer Thu 07-Jul-22 14:05:53

You can tell when two people are discussing you in a different language, its uncomfortable and a bit intimidating as well as rude. I'm surprised so many of you can't see this.
The praying is a puzzle though. Does he always pick the same bit of floor for his prayers? Does he have to pray facing East and would this 'back room' give him the space he needs for this?
The fact that he's praying in public and in front of you does sound as though he's intruding into your space and promoting his religion rather aggressively and I can see that could be uncomfortable for you. Its not necessary and I think he's being very rude and selfish. Its all a bit passive/aggressive.
Unfortunately there's not a thing you can do about it without sounding racist, apart from asking him nicely to use this back room to pray.
If I were you I'd be quietly looking for another job.

DoNotDisturb Thu 07-Jul-22 14:24:52

You say you were in a grumpy mood when you posted, but honestly I can't understand your issue at all, even allowing for your bad mood!
The guy works for a different employer for a start, so his terms of employment re breaks may be quite different from yours.
If he and his mate chat in their own language, so what? Maybe they're talking about football, cars, who knows what, but as long as they don't appear to be talking ABOUT YOU, or acting in an offensive manner, then why would it bother you? No different to any 2 guys nattering on to each other! Why would you need to feel excluded? If a female pal of yours dropped by would you feel obliged to include your colleague in your conversation?
As for his prayer breaks, maybe in the other spaces he isn't able to face the right way, and perhaps you could get your stuff together 5 minutes early so you don't interrupt his important act of faith. As for telling him to pray outside - seriously?
I do hope you're feeling less grumpy and more tolerant now, because quite honestly your original post just dounds petty and silly - sorry if you were expecting someone to agree with you!

Summerlove Thu 07-Jul-22 14:34:46

How would you feel if you went to a meeting or a party and they all spoke together in their own language whatever it was, and you stood there like a lemon? Isn’t it just rude and bad manners not to talk in a language everyone can understand. That’s not racist to wish to understand what is being said.

This is not a party or a work meeting though. Its two friends having a private conversation. It might not be racist to want to know what is being said, but its certainly rude and nosy to expect to listen in on others conversations

Theoddbird Thu 07-Jul-22 15:14:10

He is being paid to put so many hours in working. If he is not doing this then he is breaking his contract. If he is taking time out to pray then he should come in earlier or stay later to make up that time.

AliceS Thu 07-Jul-22 15:36:41

Hi everyone
I am pleased to say that everything has been resolved amicably. I have known him for 2 years. I am Hindu. He and I always have friendly chats. My point was to find a private space as we have to share space and I need to lock up and get access as the help desk manager. Just to be clear we have never told each other what to do. I said I would look into a private room and he said thanks so much. He also apologised for being ignorant at the front desk in another language (I didn't bring it up).

happycatholicwife1 Thu 07-Jul-22 23:04:46

I don't understand why the third colleague is there chatting so much. I didn't get that the third man was actually working, but rather stopping in. I wouldn't feel comfortable in that situation either. I get the idea that there's a customer service counter that both are responsible for, but he seems unavailable a lot of the time. I once worked with a woman who was constantly hiding. We were in retail work, supposed to be waiting on customers and she was never around. I always found her on the other side of a circle rack sort of bending down or in dressing rooms. I once found her squished into a very small corner as if she were playing hide and seek. Don't know if she was trying to find a place to pray because she would never speak to me. I will say I think it's rude to talk often in a foreign language when a co-worker is present. It's rude and seems sort of sneaky. Also, I find it offensive that they allow prayer time for some, but not for others. As to why the OP has complimented him, I rather think she knows that if she didn't, everything would be her fault, and everything would land in her lap. Seems like a lot of virtue signaling on this thread.

GraceQuirrel Fri 08-Jul-22 10:20:12

AliceS

If it was a one to one for a business meeting I'd say fair enough, or if it was for a conference okay too, but if it was social chat excluding the third person in a conversation in a public facing role (making it non-exclusive in the workplace) I would have a form to put in a grievance due to racial discrimination. I think that is totally rude and disrespectful - it's essential to communicate as a group regarding business operations. So, someone can run you down and you wouldn't understand? I don't think that's okay. It's okay if the colleague had to communicate with a visitor from overseas. I don't think someone should be praying in a shared workstation on a front desk when I need the same shared space to close up before the end of my shift and need to get to key cabinets ! He knows I finish earlier than him. My colleague has a lot of space in the back office to himself and I've totally respected his right to have extra time to pray outside the building. Sometimes he's had 45 minutes to pray plus 1 hour lunch plus another 20 minutes for shopping. I probably wouldn't mind so much if there were more team members. As mentioned before I will continue with my work but I will also take longer breaks as the rules just don't apply to one person in a team of two.

You’re a woman and he’s a man. He’s a sexist CF and is treating you like a second class citizen. But ignore, ignore and don’t give him the time of day (as long as you aren’t covering any of his jobs). He’s a work colleague not a friend.

oodles Fri 08-Jul-22 16:10:06

I cannot imagine the vut and his friwnd spend ages discussing you, it is proba ly if not. Work related the sirt of chat that colleagues have with each ithdr and uf in English it eould ve rude to listen in on deliberately
Why not learn a few phrases in their language snd surprise them y saying good morning or excuse me ir would you mind letting me get my file please. It might be interesting to see how they react, espe ially if you ask them to teach you a bit more