Cat

Mention to your neighbour that their cat keeps trying to get into your house and it's scaring your cat? (Don't mention food or neutering or anything contentious)

Why on earth have your neighbours not had him neutered!? He doesn't appear to be well cared for . I can understand why you fed him and he seems hungry, but of course feeding him will make him return for more. You are in a difficult situation , please be careful as a bite or scratch from him could compromise your health. I agree you should tell your neighbour what is happening - or contact the RSPCA and report neglect, you can do this without give your name or address. This is an unreasonable situation and one you and your cat should not have to tolerate.

Stop feeding him and don't let him in however sorry you feel for him.

Do talk to your neighbour and tell her her cat keeps trying to get in to your house and that your cat does not want him there, so the situation is a bit fraught.

Any cat, neutered or not, will if he or she doesn't care for their home, try to find a new one and most cats will wander happily into other people and cats' homes to inspect the contents of the cat's food bowl. It might be better than what is in his own, or like my Tigger who shames me by eating the food the cat-across-the-road leaves on his plate, he may willingly eat cat-food in someone else's house that he wouldn't touch with a barge-pole at home!

An unneutered tom who has been out looking at the ladies will be thin - they don't bother eating while there is a supply of queenie-cats in season. Food is not exactly on their minds!

Absolutely irresponsible of your neighbour not to neuter their cat!!

Being a sheep farmer's wife I know for a fact that he builds his males up before the mating season because they "sh*g the fat off their backs" (as he so delicately puts it) once they're let loose amongst the lady sheep. As Grandtante says, that's why he's thin.
Speak to your neighbour along the lines of "I know there's not much you can do about it, but your cat (use his name if you know it) Thomas/Felix/Topcat is coming to my house and eating Tabitha's (my cat name) food. Can you possibly keep him in at night?"
Try not to be aggressive, even if you feel like it.
The trouble now is that he associates your doorstep with good food and kindness - even if he did scratch you, he maybe thought you were about to take his food away!
Poor cat.

Yes, poor cat. Not only is it irresponsible not to have him neutered, your neighbours may find he becomes smelly and sprays to mark his territory. Not only is a neutered cat not going to add to the stray cat population, it makes a much nicer home-loving cat. Perhaps they don’t realise that the operation is very quick and straightforward for a male cat. Please do what you can to urge them to have him neutered.

If he was neutered it could well solve many issues, it beggers belief that he is' nt!!!!

Sorry but I think that having a ‘pet’cat un neutered and roaming is just weird! Especially a Tom. Whatever for?

They’re a nuisance to other cats, get into fights, wander for miles, often disappear and may be injured or killed, are obsessed with finding and mating with any female cat (on heat or not), they become thin and only steal food when they’re starving, they are impossible to keep indoors like that - scratching, wailing, spitting, generally not much of a pet and not fit company for any cat not on heat. Who would think it clever to deliberately increase a nationwide cat population already overburdened with unwanted kittens?
It’s actually quite cruel to behave so irresponsibly and an urgent visit to the PDSA sounds like a plan if they plead poverty.
Otherwise there can be no excuse for keeping a cat like that.

Naughty story but years ago it made me laugh :
A Vet told me that he and a colleague once shared a home with two beautiful cats, male and female.
A very large Tom cat in their road had constantly made itself a nuisance in local houses and had started coming into their garden injuring both their cats - the spayed female had a bad abscess from a bite.
They knew it would be pointless trying to enlighten the owner and so one night when the Tom came bursting into their kitchen, they popped him in a cage and off to the surgery he went. Neutered, cared for and finally released when recovered, nobody was bothered again and the owner was none the wiser!

There’s a growing group who believe cats and dogs shouldn’t be neutered. Crazy

That’s appalling. Do they not care about the huge numbers of unwanted puppies and kittens? I obtained my first two cats as kittens from just such a person in 1972. I had hoped that things had moved on in the last half a century. Apparently not.

We had the same problem some years ago when my very ignorant neighbour had a sweet female cat as a "mouser", didn't neuter her (he couldn't afford it !) and regularly drowned her kittens that she chose to have in our small shed that we put a cat flap in for her. We couldn't stand it, took her to our vet, had her neutered and she lived with us until she was 18. When he moved he asked if he could have her back. You can imagine our reply. Please contact the RSPCA, it is cruel and unnecessary.

The cat homing centres are overflowing with unwanted cats and kittens, it's so sad. Anyone not neutering their pet and letting them roam about is very selfish.

I notice Ann hasn't replied - well we haven't been exactly helpful, have we?

What can she do? Nothing.

The tom obviously comes from a Roman Catholic family 😉
RC myself btw but would neuter him👍.

My neighbours cat is neutered but I have the same problem. I have just spoken to them and they told me he has a bed in the garage. I know this but he insists in sleeping in my hut and now my cat won't go into his outside bed because of this cat. I think he might be senile because he spends all day tapping on my window and trying to get in everytime I open my door.
Theres nothing I can do.

If you feed him he will keep coming back for more.

I don't understand why they don't neuter him, there are places that can do it for free, I feel for you as he will also be spraying everywhere too, as you prob know it's an awful smell, it also calms them down and is safer for the poor cat, as it'll be fighting too, I can see why you want to feed him, but I'd not be letting him the house though, it's not fair on your elderly cat. Maybe as others have said have a chat with them, hopefully there approachable People, I wonder if theyve had cats before? Anyway good luck, just for info I have 2 beautiful neutered ginger boys 🐱🐱

Please don't feed other people's cats. They may well be on special diets (for dodgy kidneys, fur balls etc) and what you give them may well be harmful.

Neighbours might not be able to afford the operation for the cat. Many got animals during lockdown or when working from home and lost interest in them or found they cost too much. We've had a male trying to move in for about 15 months. He was a kitten at first and we left notices around and got a text saying he had a home and sister but he kept coming and we're sure he doesn't go home at all.

We feed him and have put antibiotic cream on his wounds when he's damaged. He also eats next door. And possibly up the road as smells of Indian food sometimes We've got an old lady cat who bullies him but he finishes her food. he's allowed in but not to sleep. Last We've got a little cat house with nice furry bedding outside.

The house girl has tummy and other problems as she's old and has had to have vet visits. We are hoping we don't have to take the visitor there. we're still fighting off having him move in and yes we know feeing him, allowing him in during the day, responding to what food he prefers (because he's getting cheeky) is silly of us! He's unneutered but wouldn't dare to try it with Harryet. She's always been a boss cat and bullied two dogs too while we had them.

Sorry a bit messy post, it should say last winter we worried but did leave him outside in our little cat house. and we feed him not fee him.

You have brought a lot of this upon yourself by feeding him.

That’s not very kind or helpful is it? It’s hard to turn away a hungry animal.
Frankly I would take him for the op whilst the neighbours are out, saying it’s a stray I have taken in. The vet won’t know otherwise unless the cat has been chipped, which sounds unlikely. Job done, he can be safely returned.

It is hard not to feed a cat who is hungry but if you know it has a home this is very irresponsible. One of our cat went missing when our daughter was about 5, she put posters up round the village in a desperate attempt to find him, we had a phone call to say he was at someone's house and went to collect him to find she'd been enticing him in with food and he was asleep on her bed, my daughter was so pleased to have him back and he didn't wander again (BTW all my animals have been neutered)

I agree with you GSM.