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Christmas

Phoenix’s - Cursing the gammon Christmas may now begin!

(43 Posts)
RosiesMaw Sat 23-Dec-23 08:42:23

Remembering absent friends - raising a virtual glass (as it’s a bit early )
🥃 Our much-missed and loved friend Phoenix
Fri 23-Dec-16 10:02:00

“Start by getting out all of your biggest pans and finding that none of them is quite the right size/shape for the meat. Apply your first curse. Then you set it to boil on your newly cleaned hob, and wait for the spitting and splashing to begin. You can now curse again, even if you haven't rolled a 6.

You then realise that you forgot to make a note of the weight for timing purposes. Rummage in the bin for the wrapper and miss two goes. Now experiment with different positions for the lid in an attempt to minimise the splashing. Have another curse when you realise that none of the positions works. Say to anyone within earshot that it's the same every year, and why on earth didn't they remind you of that when you bought it. (Deflecting blame earns you an extra 10 points and a small sherry).

Realise that you forgot to set the timer, and try to estimate how long it has been boiling so far. Don't worry too much about accuracy; you are bound to be wrong. Apply an extra 30 minutes to be on the safe side, miss one go and have a sherry. After an appropriate length of time, drain and leave to cool. Award extra points if all of the water goes down the sink, but miss 2 sherries if any goes either on the draining board or your feet.

Cover with something to protect from cats (extra points available if a colander will actually fit over it, but deductions if you have to deploy either a tea towel or tin foil).

Apply final curse and enjoy.”

merlotgran Sat 23-Dec-23 08:49:59

Thanks, Maw. I’ve been thinking of Phoenix this week as I cursed my own gammon and raised a glass of sherry in her honour. ❤️🥳

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 23-Dec-23 08:59:03

Yes I remember it well.

My cursing will begin this evening, any earlier and the Gammon will be eaten. Maybe this year I’ll remember to write the weight down…..

sodapop Sat 23-Dec-23 09:18:01

Still makes me smile, here's to Phoenix wine

maddyone Sat 23-Dec-23 09:29:22

I remember it well. We lose a few friends or family each year as we get older. Gransnet friends and personal friends. My friend of 35 years died earlier this month. Sadly I won’t be able to go to the funeral as it’s in January and we’ll be in New Zealand visiting our daughter and her children. I shall think of her on the day though.

Redhead56 Sat 23-Dec-23 09:29:39

It does begin the gammon fight with Phoenix never forgotten 🎄

GrannyGravy13 Sat 23-Dec-23 09:32:19

🥃🍖 cheers Phoenix I shall be cooking 4 gammons later, I predict much cursing.

Abitbarmy Sat 23-Dec-23 09:34:55

That definitely raised a smile, I remember it well though I had a different username back then. Will absolutely raise a glass of sherry to Phoenix

Joseann Sat 23-Dec-23 09:36:47

I don't think I knew this poster, the date pre dates my time on GN. She sounds like a fun person.
🍺 to all sadly departed.

Callistemon21 Sat 23-Dec-23 09:56:42

Thanks Maw, I was thinking about Phoenix the other day and hoped someone would start the gammon thread.

🥂 to Phoenix

kittylester Sat 23-Dec-23 10:11:33

Thanks, Maw.

Our phoenix is a very sad loss to GN. Joseann, she was great fun and also fearless.

Gammon cursing tomorrow here!

Bella23 Sat 23-Dec-23 10:13:12

I never knew Phoenix but I can appreciate her humour. My gammon plight started last night when DH told me it was from the wrong shop and they fell to pieces. So a rummage for the butcher's string and fingers crossed that the bird will be there this afternoon when we have to pick it up with the town and their fathers.
To a sadly departed.wine

aggie Sat 23-Dec-23 10:18:44

I miss Phoenix too
I’m cooking my Sons ham just now , it barely fitted into the slow cooker and the apple juice is just trickled round the sides !

MerylStreep Sat 23-Dec-23 10:30:17

I think of her often when I look at my Montbretia.
I inherited them in my ( then new garden)
I’d never grown them but wanted to move them.
I asked on here if I would harm them. Her reply was: if you boiled them you couldn’t kill them 😂

Curlywhirly Sat 23-Dec-23 10:33:11

Thanks for that Maw I remember Phoenix's posts - always good for a laugh and the Gammon post was one of her best. To those of you cooking yours early, but eating it on Christmas Day, how are you going to warm it up? I have only ever cooked mine on Christmas morning, but would rather cook it on Christmas eve to get it out of the way 🙄

LauraNorderr Sat 23-Dec-23 10:45:41

To Phoenix wine

Doodle Sat 23-Dec-23 10:47:52

Thanks Maw such fond memories of Phoenix and her wonderful humour.

kittylester Sat 23-Dec-23 10:49:56

Mine is for cold on Boxing Day so I can't help.

Every time Phoenix is mentioned I am reminded of the Curse she wrote for DD3's idiot. It didn't work but was great. I'll find it and post it.

kittylester Sat 23-Dec-23 10:55:43

Phoenix's curse for DD3's Idiot ex.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 23-Dec-23 11:02:44

I remember that kittylester I borrowed it for my DD’s idiot ex

TillyTrotter Sat 23-Dec-23 12:19:19

Ah! What a lady.
Drinking a roast to Phoenix and the many memories she has left us with. 🥂
No sprouts in this house on Christmas Day - steamed, crushed, boiled, fried, over cooked or otherwise.

kittylester Sat 23-Dec-23 13:05:23

GrannyGravy13

I remember that kittylester I borrowed it for my DD’s ^idiot ex^

Happy for anyone to borrow it, anytime. It might still work on our Idiot

crazyH Sat 23-Dec-23 13:35:03

😂

Charleygirl5 Sat 23-Dec-23 13:58:00

A lovely person, with a good sense of humour until the very end and she was so brave.

Callistemon21 Sat 23-Dec-23 14:59:07

Charleygirl5

A lovely person, with a good sense of humour until the very end and she was so brave.

She certainly was, Charleygirl and sadly missed.
She brought joy to Gransnet 🙂