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Do you read people's calendars and cards?

(94 Posts)
Doodledog Sun 17-Mar-24 14:17:15

Just that, really grin. If you are visiting someone who has a calendar with days filled in, or cards on the mantelpiece do you see it as ok to have a look, or do you see them as private?

JaneJudge Sun 17-Mar-24 14:23:37

when I worked in family support we were told not to read people's cards as it was an invasion of privacy, so I tend not to do it as a rule now

Theexwife Sun 17-Mar-24 14:25:25

No, I wouldn’t , although they may be on show I still see it as private.

I know someone who puts fictitious events on her calendar incase people look and say they can see she is free on a certain day for childcare.

OldFrill Sun 17-Mar-24 14:26:30

No l wouldn't, l think it's the height of nosiness. My sister did though, she said if things were on display they were meant to be read. She read her daughter's (hidden) diary and got in a dreadful state about what her daughter had written about her, served her right.

M0nica Sun 17-Mar-24 14:52:48

No

kittylester Sun 17-Mar-24 15:16:57

I see them as two different things. Cards on display, I feel, are there to be read but not a calendar.

Norah Sun 17-Mar-24 15:20:58

No, both are private.

We bin cards after opening/ reading.

I keep dates/events on scraps of paper, can't even find myself and nobody cares in the slightest what we're doing anyway.

seadragon Sun 17-Mar-24 15:27:13

I wouldn't read other people's cards/calendars - unless invited - either; but I was startled the other day when DS grabbed a birthday card DD had sent me and read it, commenting on the contents..... I was actually too startled to object to this myself at the time... He's 48 now and I've never seen him do that before!!.... BTW I never read their stuff uninvited either.... Privacy is important to me... I would never access DH's mobile/on line messaging uninvited ..... nor would he mine. Time enough to find out "What's Goin' On?" Duff! - Duff!- Duff!= Duff!....when/if the proverbial hits the fan.

Astitchintime Sun 17-Mar-24 15:34:22

Absolutely not! And I would not like it if anyone read our calendar too, unless I was not close to the calendar and perhaps a visiting DD asked if I was busy on a particular day at which point I would say 'just check the calendar for me please'.

NotAGran55 Sun 17-Mar-24 15:45:04

I wouldn’t dream of reading them and asked my nosy MIL not to do it in our house many years ago.
She also thought it was OK to snoop in her daughter’s bedroom drawers too, read her private stuff, and then attempt to pass on the info she had found.
My husband told her in no uncertain terms that he didn’t want to hear it.

rafichagran Sun 17-Mar-24 15:52:25

No, I would not either.

ixion Sun 17-Mar-24 16:35:23

Dreadfully rude.

downtoearth Sun 17-Mar-24 16:45:30

Definitely not,rude.

Ailidh Sun 17-Mar-24 16:46:45

Certainly not.

Bridie22 Sun 17-Mar-24 16:50:31

Would read the cards , but not the calendar.

Jewelle Sun 17-Mar-24 16:56:24

No I don’t. My mum does though. I hate it, horribly intrusive. But that’s her anyway.

Jewelle Sun 17-Mar-24 16:57:49

It could be said that as they are on view they are fair game for reading, but actually NO THEY’RE NOT!

Can you tell this has hit a nerve?! grin

TillyTrotter Sun 17-Mar-24 16:59:20

Definitely not calendars, but I ask if I can look at my family’s Birthday cards and they are happy for me and others to share them.
If they said “No” I wouldn’t.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 17-Mar-24 17:01:25

Certainly not. These things are private.

lixy Sun 17-Mar-24 17:03:31

I would read cards in a close relations house but not either in anybody else's.

Our calendar is on the kitchen wall and we have a whiteboard which I keep up to date with the next week's commitments so anyone coming in can read that of course.
We find that it's handy to have a central point of reference - when our Chn were at home we had one of those calendars with a column for each family member. The mantra of 'if it's not on the calendar it's not happening' avoided last minute demands to be taken to the other end of town for some event or other!

Esmay Sun 17-Mar-24 17:12:06

Definitely not .
I think that it's very rude .
And I don't ask people questions either .
If someone wants to tell me something then fine , but sometimes I'll say whoaaa !
I never repeat confidences .
I've kept a friend's affair secret for 25 years .
I felt thoroughly irritated yesterday when one of my friends persisted in asking me about my personal life .
It's obvious that I don't want to be drawn into talking about things .
There is going to come the day when
saying it's private doesn't suffice and I'll walk away .

JollyJilly Sun 17-Mar-24 17:15:15

No I don't because I am not interested.

Doodledog Sun 17-Mar-24 17:21:42

Jewelle

No I don’t. My mum does though. I hate it, horribly intrusive. But that’s her anyway.

Mine does too, which is why I asked.

Worse, she actually asked why I was going to the doctor, as I'd put the appointment on the calendar. We were in the sitting room, and the calendar is on the wall in the kitchen, so she read it as she went past on her way to the downstairs loo - she wasn't sitting next to it. She also read the MD cards, which were on the mantelpiece. They weren't private, but you don't know that until you've read them, so I think that's rude, too.

I just wondered if it was normal. I wouldn't dream of it myself.

AGAA4 Sun 17-Mar-24 17:23:32

Definitely wouldn't read either cards or calendars in a friend's house. I keep all my appointments in my diary so my calendar isn't worth reading.
What I found quite rude was my Tesco delivery man having a look round my living room while I was unpacking and commenting.

Galaxy Sun 17-Mar-24 17:34:39

No.
My mum often shows me her cards.
I used to have a friend who when in someones house, if she went upstairs to the loo, would go round all the rooms upstairs and have a look in.