Do I deserve this treatment.

May I ask what you were expecting instead?

I was sent a text message inviting me for afternoon tea. Afternoon tea to me means, sandwiches, cream cakes etc. What does it men to you Hithere.

I think it was a very nice gesture that your daughter made. Ok, so they didn’t push the boat out and give you a slap up tea, but they made the effort of inviting you to their home for Mother’s Day. It’s the thought that counts after all, isn’t it?

Goodness you were a lucky lady count your blessings
Ungrateful of you in my opinion

If one of my AC invited me to their home for afternoon tea , I would expect more than a bowl of soup and a piece of cake. Having said that I think you would be wise not to make a fuss about it - don't upset the apple cart! You are correct in deciding not to confront them . Comfort yourself in the knowledge you received the invitation, so many estranged people on GN who would have been absolutely delighted to have a bowl of soup and a cake! You were given an invitation and that is important. Let it go !

Honestly? I think you are being unreasonable, yes. Mother’s Day used to involve a card and a bunch of daffs, or tea made with water from the hot tap, and a bit of burnt toast served in bed at 6.30 am by an excited child who’s too young to boil a kettle. When they grow up they might have their own families, and will have their own lives.

You can’t help how you feel, but I don’t think that sharing those feelings with your other daughter is helpful either. You were invited for food, which is what you got. Try to be glad of that?

Honestly? - I would have been happy to have been invited, would have enjoyed being with them, and been entirely happy with the tea.

It does seem to be a shame to spoil a kind gesture in this way ands to be unhappy about this. Maybe you could try and think about it differently - it would make you happier.

Please be happy they thought of you.

Sound advice on this thread Jolly Sailor so do hope you are feeling as bit better about it now ? Just imagine how you would feel if your DD and SIL had forgotten all about you today, be happy!😊

It’s a tricky one. On the one hand lots of people’s expectations are high and I can see that you were disappointed. On the other hand I have memories of going to a church service on ‘Mothering Sunday’ and coming home with a foil-wrapped bunch of daffodils for my mum. This was all that she got, and she loved it as far as I know.

Personally, good company, soup and a cake seems lovely to me. Basically only the sandwiches were missing. But I don’t criticise you for your expectations. Late 20th and early 21st century marketing has created them in my opinion, just as they’ve altered expectations for Xmas and Easter .

I’d be happy to have been invited and if that’s what I was served I would have simply said thank you. If you are lucky enough to be invited again you know not to set your sights to high and expect a huge amount to eat.

The thread title is ‘Do I deserve this treatment?’. Frankly, no, I don’t think you deserved the invitation, let alone the food. How ungrateful, being invited to your daughter’s home and then taking to social media to complain about the perceived inadequacy of the catering arrangements. You really don’t know how lucky you are. I feel very sorry for your daughter, doing her best for such an unappreciative woman.

If your family ate the same food with you, which I'm sure they did, then you haven't been subject to any "treatment".
Its what they were having, and you were invited to share.

Was it cup-a-soup?

is this a reversal ??

Wheat kind of soup was it? Tesco’s economy or homemade? The cake, was it Mr Kipling or homemade?
It doesn’t really matter to be honest what kind of soup and cake you were given, I think it’s the thought that counts. It’s definitely the best policy now to forget it and move on.
If it was Tesco’s economy and a Mr Kipling cake I’d have gone home hungry, so I’d have made myself some nice comfort food and settled down to watch television.

I don’t think you should be disappointed jolly. I would have found it a bit of an odd choice maybe, but there could be lots of reasons why.
Maybe money is a bit tight, or might they have been feeling under the weather and not been able to buy much in. Maybe they’d had a row. My son and dil asked us over Christmas Eve to exchange presents. I was expecting a sandwich and maybe a tipple, we weren’t even offered a cup of tea ! Two weeks after Christmas our son came to tell us they were divorcing.
Your daughter’s reaction was over the top, she shouldn’t be interfering. Keep quiet and be happy you had an invite and a good time with them that's all that matters.

I think I agree wholeheartedly with Doodlebug. Not good to tell your other daughter either

What an entitled sour post.

Soup, cake and coffee was a lovely offering

100% agree with Germanshepherdsmum.
I don’t see anything wrong at all, surely it’s not about what you’re offered to eat? It’s being invited and thought of.
Personally I think Mothers Day is a load of nonsense when you pass school age, I do quite a lot for one daughter, and I know she’s grateful, i always felt under pressure to do things for my mother and mother in law, and don’t want my lot to feel that.
As for your other daughter, she sounds like a troublemaker.

We had takeaway pizza - I expect the OP would have been offended by that - but I loved it - great to be together and no one had to cook. It’s not about the food surely? The OP should have enjoyed the company.

Having told your other daughter it's almost certainly going to get back. I don't expect that you will get an invite next year. Did they buy you a card? Flowers?

Let it go, clearly your perception of afternoon tea was crustless sandwiches, dainty cakes and tea/coffee served in china cups on a lace tablecloth.

Instead, you were served soup, cake and coffee, came away disappointed and then complained to your other DD. Don't be. surprised of you get zilch next year.

if I were invited for afternoon tea I would have expected a cup of tea and a piece of cake, which is what you received, plus two hours of company. You were very foolish to discuss it with your other daughter and bad feelings will no doubt ensue. Is this what you wanted?

The reference to "Afternoon Tea" created different expectations! But the important things like being remembered; cared about; invited; made a fuss of; spending time with them ...all happened! The food provided wasn't an insult or a lack of caring, just different to what "Afternoon Tea" means to you. Tgere is nothing to feel upset about and plenty to be grateful for and to enjoy.

And I hope your other daughter doesn't say anything. If she does then sadly you will have to take some responsibility for creating a problem that was never really there.