Problem with gossipy coworker

sorry 'ignores me on the desk for 8 hours'

can't you just ignore him, esp now you know what he is up to.
it's his problem.

Giving you the "silent treatment" and badmouthing you behind your back is a form of bullying. I would go to HR and raise the matter with them. If there have been complaints about him before he may have been moved sideways and not liked it. Someone needs to begin the disciplinery process by giving him a verbal warning.

Many workplaces have someone like this (a bit of a troublemaker but their work is satisfactory). It can be difficult to let them go if they are long serving and there are no overt performance issues. There is a process for "managing out" people who are the subject of complaints and who do not heed the warnings. Few managers are willing to take it because of possible repercussions. It has to be done very carefully and in accordance with organizational disciplinery procedures by a series of informal and then more formal warnings.

So, you give him the silent treatment. A lot will depend if communication with him is vital. If you are both operating independently, I would just do my job and say Good Morning and Good Night. If you are dependent on him to get a joint job done and he is not co-operating, then go to your manager and say it is impossible to do your job as he won't co-operate. As for the gossip and bad mouthing, this says far more about him than you and, if possible, it is best ignored. If he doesn't have the backing of most of the workforce, then he is on a slippery slope in any case. Good luck!

If you can’t cope with his silent treatment, (please try) then you could go to your manager ( who knows the history of all of this) and tell him that you wish to take it up officially with HR, hopefully he will go with you to report this behaviour and back up what you tell them.
I hope it gets sorted.

I couldn’t work alongside someone like that male or female, l would ask for a transfer away from him, if not I would leave and say why.

Your manager is becoming the real problem here because he is NOT managing. His job is to supervise and manage situations like the one you describe.
Go back to him and say that this has become untenable and you are going to HR. He should have addressed this matter the first time you spoke to him. Instead he has basically shrugged his shoulders and said he knows... draw a line and move on is not a solution!! This is harrassment and covert bullying.
Big girl pants on and get this sorted. Dont let this piece of work and this non manager push you out...

Why would you let such a saddo have any control over the way you feel? You can do one of two things:

1) take the HR route as others advise or

2) every time you see him give him a big smile and a 'hello' and let him know you are not intimidated by him. Every time you hear that he has been bad-mouthing you call him on it, in front of others, so he has to either retract what he said or explain himself. As in 'I hear you don't like ...... what's the problem with it?' Then you can set the record straight or agree there was a misunderstanding or whatever. Then smile and say 'I wish you had mentioned it to me instead of complaining to others then we could have sorted it out.' Most people will know exactly what he is like, they won't believe what he says but most won't want to rock the boat. He sounds jealous that you've got what he wants and he sounds cowardly bitching about you behind your back. Stay pleasant and it will put you in control. Bitching back will make for a very unpleasant atmosphere all round and put your colleagues between a rock and a hard place until they are fed up with both of you.

Your manager knows about this and has done nothing so I doubt HR would either.

He is giving you the silent treatment which to me is fine, it means you don't have to speak to him.

What he won't be expecting is for you to wrong foot him by being bright and breezy, chatting with everyone just as you've always done and getting on with your work like you've not heard a word from him. It will be hard at first but fake it till you make it. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know he'd needled me and, with time, he'll overstep the mark.

I suspect that your manager is actually dealing with it or at least monitoring the situation. It’s possible that the gossip is under investigation but hasn’t yet reached the level required to loose their job. A good manager won’t discuss the matter of another colleague’s disciplinary process or performance management, but may drop tiny hints, such as yours seems to be doing. (We are aware of the situation etc)
Management seem keen to keep you and recognise that you are not the problem . Your team are upset on your behalf. The whole office seems to have his measure. It can’t be long until he reforms or is managed out, so I wouldn’t resign.

Hi, I am a retired HR Manager. If this work colleague is undermining your confidence and wellbeing in the way you describe, you really should have a chat with HR. Nobody should have to put up with psychological manipulation in the work place. You don’t have to put in a formal complaint if you don’t want to, just tell them what is going on and ask for a) advice and b) a record to be placed on your personal file of what you are experiencing. You could also discreetly start keeping a record/diary about the things that happens : date, what occurred, who was present, what action you took (if any), who you reported it to, how it made you feel and the impact it had upon you - e.g. your confidence in the workplace and to do your job, your morale/mental health etc. you might never need it, but it will help keep things in perspective and be useful if something blows up in the future. Good luck, I hope this helps x

I had this once with a lady in her early sixties, I was in my mid thirties. She hated my ability with technology and hid work from me or put things out of my reach to make it difficult. It was miserable. I realised that she was worried about the computers and started a campaign to teach her. She mastered it quickly and her attitude changed incredibly. There is always a reason (it might not make sense). There are hints in your post that this person is jealous and wanted your position. I really don't know what you can do about that and think this is a matter for management to resolve. They should be calling this person in and confronting this attitude and not expecting you to put up with it. On the other hand, life is too short to stay in a job where you are uncomfortable, are there options for you to leave and go elsewhere?

You should go straight to HR - it's harassment. Make a note of everything that's happened. He's been nasty, so don't spare his feelings. Make sure that it's raised officially. (I was in HR for years and hearing this type of thing - especially non effective Line Managers, makes my blood boil)

I would make an official complaint to your manager. He needs reining in, sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Hi everyone,
Thank you all so much for your kind words and invaluable help. I will be moving onto another job soon (the new shift pattern coming up is impossible for me to do with evening study). So maybe it's a blessing in disguise that I will be free from my colleague's toxicity. My manager said that this guy said that I said that my colleagues are lazy which is BS. My manager wouldn't elaborate what he said but he's acting like the angry victim (because he got busted after I asked questions with mutual colleagues who gave me a 'backstory' with revealing info - and he knows it). I am currently off work this week for holiday - and I see that this guy isn't partnered up with me on next week's rota which is great.

Never, ever, ever be alone with these people - not even for one minute. Always have a witness to what they say to you. You don't need his acknowledgement that you are alive - let him ignore you all he wants, and f necessary, point out to someone that he is ignoring you -as usual. This is bullying - he wants to break your spirit, and now that you are leaving, he will find another victim, who may not be as resilient as you, and get mentally distressed.

AreWeThereYet agree with everything you have posted, this is exactly how I would deal with it

Tanjamaltija - I agree with your advice to Orchid25 whole-heartedly.

perhaps you could see if there is a possibility of changing/moving desks. Other wise just ignore him completely just pretend he isnt there. Try not react to him at all. he wot like that. But it is annoying that the so called boss wont del with im and tht the is allowed to continue with purile behaviour

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