Coping with an elderly cat

As you said, he is chatted to 2-3 times a day. A lot depends on how much human contact he had before he came to live with you. I do feel sorry for the cat, pushed out because your DD had a baby.

The cat may appear to be happy but I would not be ecstatic if he/she was incontinent. My thoughts would be going towards saying goodbye. I may appear harsh but I am also a cat lover and one has to be realistic. That is not a normal environment for a cat, luxurious as it is. It is very difficult.

Our DD has two lovely cats, soppy thing, half Ragdoll. Now 14 years old. The girl refuses to use the litter tray for pooing. Won't go outside either and leaves 'surprises' in whatever room she can access. She is excellent with the children and has such a lovely nature they can't bring themselves to have her put down. There are sprays to keep cats away, it would be lovely if one could be developed to encourage a cat where to toilet.

Oh it is so hard! As many members know I had to say goodbye to one of my cats recently, although I managed to convince myself that she was happy in her own way, deep down I knew it was the right thing to do.

If only our pets could tell us how they feel.

I totally agree with Charleygirl- and I am a real animal lover and softie. We are lucky all our pets lived to a very old age- but when the time comes- it is unfair to prolong. I hopy your daughter will agree with you.

We have had to adopt our DD2's elderly dog, a 13 year old dachshund- our own dog is 15 and our cat about 16 (no accurate age as they are all rescued from dreadful situations as young adults)- so I can well imagine how you feel. Do what your heart tells you is the best

I'm going to buck the trend and say there doesn't seem to be any reason to consider having him put to sleep, other than convenience (and I really don't mean that to sound like a criticism; you're obviously doing everything you can under circumstances not of your making). I believe that when we take on an animal, we take it on for life, in sickness and in health etc. They bring us immense pleasure, and if we enjoy the good times I think we have a duty to stick with them through age and infirmity. Very different if they are suffering, in pain, or dying, then I would consider euthanasia. It doesn't sound as if your cat has reached that stage yet, and although you can't give him the life you would wish you are giving him a better life than many pets enjoy. I would say stick with him, see how it goes, take the vet's advice. You will know when the time has come.

As Phoenix says it would be soooo helpful if we knew how our pets felt. I just knew with my dog when it time to say goodbye but this cat isn't mine and I know that DD is loathe to let him go to the cattery in the sky; she feels guilty for passing him to us as it is but with the baby crawling about in her little house and with 2 other children she didn't have too many choices. She did try to re home but because he is old with health issues no one wanted him. It would be good as NfkDumpling says it would be good if there was a spray which points them in the direction of the litter tray!

It's helped me a lot just to share the problem. Thanks for responding so quickly.

My cat Spice was 20 last month. She is doddery and deaf and sleeps almost all the time, but is still as fussy about what to eat! Luckily (touch wood here) she is still pretty reliable about the cat box so long as it is available.

She wails a lot sometimes, I think because she can't hear me and doesn't know where I am. I shut her in one room at night with food, water and box.

I know I may not have her long, but I'm reluctant to hasten things....so long as she isn't in pain or great distress I will go on trying.

Life has become much easier lately as our oldest cat has finally (after many years) got the hang of using the litter tray instead of the floor next to the tray and the cat we took in 4 years ago finally seems to feel settled enough to stop spraying unexpected corners of the house!
To balance this we now just have to deal with the old one's twice daily thyroid pills and his flea allergy which makes him pull all his fur out if it takes hold

Cats are very clean creatures and I am sure that this cat would be mortified if he makes a mess around the house. My cat is occasionally sick, she is always looking at me expecting to be told off (she never is) and then flees. It is very difficult.

Bingo! Well at least a partial success today. Said puss successfully used the tray but then decided to go elsewhere as well! Perhaps it was because I moved it to a less public spot.

My cat's litter tray is in a spare bedroom and the tray has a lid on it. It is also not remotely near her food and water. I am aware that not evertybody has a bedroom that the cat has decided is hers! They are very private for toileting as well as dining.

After Lily's demise we went down to one litter tray (like Charleygirl's it too has a lid, not that I'm implying that she uses a litter tray, but you know what I mean!) It is situated in the downstairs loo, which seems appropriate, although Digby never seems to avail himself of the wash basin and clean hand towel.

To be honest, I do wonder why we still have one, as both Digby & Maurice trundle outside, which Lily never did, finding the world outside far too big and scary and (in her opinion) populated by cat murderers.

However we think that Digby may have been an indoor cat before we got him from Cats Protection. We also think he may have previously lived in a bungalow, as the way that he tackled stairs in his first few days here was definitely a bit odd.

But then he is remarkably thick.

Our Pudding goes outside- for hours, then comes back to poop in her litter tray - doh. I found some great litter made out of wood pellets- so much nicer, and providing I bag the poop- it then goes into one of the compost heaps.

granjura that is precisely what Tara does. Anything other than a quick wee and she skids around the house, scattering rugs and makes a general nuisance of herself and is noisy. I am sure that she wakens my neighbours because this often occurs around bedtime after 11pm.

I thought that the great outdoors would have been preferable but no. Cat litter is not cheap either.

Here where I live, people have to pay for rubbish disposal by weight... so cat litter is a killer. I am glad I found the wood pellets and that I have facilities for composting. I have a friend from Kent who has a holiday flat near us (in Switzerland) and in the building next door they had a massive explosion which caused 1000s of damage. One lady has 5 cats and had been putting litter down the toilet since the new refuse disposal system came into place- the down pipe got blocked and gassed built up and then went bang. Thanks goodness no.one was in that part of the building at the time. I suppose the insurance won't pay either- and she will be faced with the repair bill- hardly a saving (:

I really liked the wood pellets because they are light and the pine scent cuts down on smell, but once it has been used the pellets start to break down into sawdust and my lot used to walk it all over the house. I tried the paper ones which were also light, but with them you get a nasty wet paper smell.

I'm glad someone has mentioned food bowls because I used to keep the cats bowls in the downstairs toilet next to a littler tray and one of my cats wouldn't use it [unfortunately she'd do it anywhere else in the house]. I didn't realise that they don't like having their trays and food bowls in the same area. Years ago we re found a cat that we'd lost many years before [it's a long story]. But our lives had changed. We had small children and other cats and dogs and he was used to being an only cat and using his last owners cellar as a toilet. He would poo anywhere and everywhere. I put a tent in the garden for him to live in and he got pneumonia and died; you've given your old cat has a heater. I still feel guilty about it now but he really didn't want to live with us; tried to scratch the children or poo where they were playing; hated the dogs and the other cats as well [he'd actually ran away from us previously do obviously didn't like us either]. My cats never liked the wood pellets which was a pain because my ex built an incinerator to burn it in.

That's sad Tegan but you did your best and it is difficult dealing with cat poo when you've got children. Whilst this old pussy is reasonably comfortable and warm I do feel he must be lonely though there's a lot to watch in the garden as the birds aren't scared if him because he never attempts to chase them!