Children & grandchildren visiting with dogs

I think you are going to have to be quite firm about this and risk some initial resentment. There will be trouble if the "interloping dogs" are allowed a free rein as neither your own older dogs nor the cat – who will be quite able to up sticks and move elsewhere to your lasting grief – should have to put up with it. Obviously, it is important to be calm and reasonable as you explain that with so many in the house – human, canine and feline – practical arrangements must be made. The daft thing is that their dogs will cope perfectly well quite quickly with a new regime if that is what happens. I wonder what your daughter will think about boisterous dogs once the baby has been born – perhaps a gentle hit about preparing them to take second place and the need to ensure the baby's safety might perhaps be helpful.

I do hope all goes well.

If it's any help, Gran2014, my daughter comes here to visit us with three children, 1 dog and two kittens!!! We have an elderly spaniel who is blind in one eye, poor sight in the other and other health issues, so I have to be VERY firm, particularly with the kittens who like to jump at poor old Millie, and if not kept under control could make her life a misery. The dog, always stays with us for two weeks when daughter goes on holiday, this year of course joined by kittens! I can only say that when these 'three' are visiting they HAVE to adhere to the rules of OUR house, if that' was a problem it would be made crystal clear even at the risk of a fall out that they simply wouldn't be welcome, it's as easy as that. Bottom line is that neither of us would put up with being told what they think is acceptable in OUR house. Luckily daughter understands and accepts that what she allows and what I allow although roughly the same, are in some ways different and is respectful of that, in exactly the same way as I am in her house. Frankly I think you just have to be firm, if they don't like it then, if they were mine, they'd have to rent somewhere for six months - easy as that!

Sounds like chaos! I think the dogs would adapt better than the cats once a routine is established. Your daughter's cat (and yours) might find it more stressful. I know mine would be frightened if left with builders in the house. If there is a cat flap to enable escape and re-entry, the neighbour option could work.
I don't envy you, but agree with absent that ground rules will have to be established as well as shared responsibility for dog walking, cooking etc. If this was my family I am sure they would try to sit back and let me do all the work, but you mustn't let that happen. If things are not done your way, try not to criticise or they will not bother again.
I wish you luck, and enjoyment of the new baby. If you need a rant come on here to let off steam!

I agree with you too nellie, posts crossed.

your house your rules.

Yes - it has to be your house, your rules doesn't it. It's a recipe for disaster to introduce so many changes into the lives of these dogs and not have agreements about how to allow the dogs to have some space from each other. If you feel the dogs would all be ok together, I'd get the interlopers used to spending time in your dog den, and sleeping in the boiler room.

Sadly dear Grace doesn't like most other dogs and no way could I bring another one into her territory!! I would love her to be "friends" with DD's newish lurchadoodle but fear it is unlikely and as for Sis-in law's new Lakeland terrier puppy, I think she would regard him as breakfast or a substitute electric hare. So I am going to have to impose a "no dogs" rule unless I have the DGC when (for the sake of everybody's peace of mind) Grace goes to her holiday home in Salcey Forest also know as the K-place. (because we all know dogs can spell, don't we?)
Your house, your rules indeed I hope you can find a compormise which suits everybody.

All dogs welcome here, but I draw the line at cats and badly behaved children.

iam I wish it was true. When DD visits it's my house her rules. She's a teacher and can't get out of the habit. Thanks goodness no pets, just DGDs.

She's coming on Monday rather than tues and I've been dashing around checking dates on everything and putting small objects out of reach! I'm exhausted. Will only be able to go to archery for an hour or two as I've still got to make the loaf, cook a banana cake and some shortbread!

Galen why don't you just go to Waitrose? You exhaust me with all that baking!

I think sometimes some of our children still tend to think of the place where we are living – even if it a completely new house which the family never inhabited – as home. They also tend to think of Mum as "mother" – no other role in life, let alone one of her own. It is wrong and they have to know it is, but inform them gently.

absent's post has reminded me that my own mother's rules about dogs and grandchildren were, well very free and easy. Somehow, her own dogs never stole food, jumped up on kitchen counters and so on. I never saw her do any formal training, the dogs seemed to dote on her so much, they learned to read her mind, and followed the few rules she found essential. One of them was, don't jump up and eat food from the table. Sadly, my spaniel never developed as a mind reader. When mum left the door open, to the room in which she'd laid out a buffet, my spaniel simply wandered in, did what spaniels do best, and ate the greater part of it. I was not in the house at the time, but had to rush off and spend my week's 'housekeeping' on replacing the items the dog enjoyed so much. So much for mums house, her rules.

lam64 You have brigtened up my morning with your post or at least your spaniels feasting did. I hope you can look back at it and laugh now although having to spend your week's housekeeping money probably did not go down too well and was not funny at the time. Your mothers dogs sound perfect.
I do not allow dogs in the house or for that matter adults who smell of cigarette smoke but only having two grandaughters who can do no wrong in my eyes (they are very well behaved) so I guess I can be classified as a grumpy old git. I now have visions of Tom and Jerry cartoons with Silvester the the hapless dog (at least I think it was Silvester).

Funny that - some people just have a 'way' with dogs. When my family had a rather unruly German Shepherd, my uncle just had to look at her and she would do exactly what he told her. He was very good with children as well.

I'm just so grateful for all the common sense posted : I'd started to feel like a completely over-stressing idiot. It's good to know that your'e all out there with genuine words of advice and help. Ground rules are going to have to be the order of the day or it'll simply fester and rankle.
I suspect, however, that this is not the end of the matter……………..so watch this space !

I rather fear it's not!! BUT hopefully you will be able to make your position clear, (perhaps not as forcefully as me!!!) and come to a proper understanding for all concerned. It is your house - don't forget that!!!!!

I think it's rather unreasonable of your daughter and son-in-law to get in a "huff" about this issue. It is your house and they are lucky that you are kind enough to accommodate them while theirs is being renovated. I think they should try, as far as possible, to fit in with the way you do things rather than expecting you to submit to their demands.

I'm not sure about the cat issue though - it may well go elsewhere if they're away for six months.

I hope you can resolve this without too much upset.

Your house, your rules indeed!