new to this kind of thing

Janet, so sorry you are going through all this. I sincerely hope you will find new friends to meet up with on Gransnet. I live in the Swiss Jura mountains, so far too far for us to meet - but the very best of luck.

Welcome, Janet. I live a long way from you, in Devon, but hope you enjoy chatting on these forums and find some companionship from the rest of us.

Thanks for your kind replies, my bottom has gone to sleep now so I must get up and make a coffee and return to the computer later on to see if any one nearer has replied, but many thanks to you who got in touch, and lets hope things improve, bye for now

Welcome Specialmo, sorry you are feeling so alone. Please keep coming on Gransnet as we are a friendly bunch who love to chat on lots of different topics.
Even if you don't find anyone close to home, I'm sure you won't feel as lonely.

hope you find what you need here and elsewhere, specialmo.

I don't know whether you would have to pay, but wouldn't you find walking easier with a proper wheeled walker? You can get them with basket attached. I do not live in your area, but hope you make contact with someone in the same position. I live alone but am content with little outside contact, dread the thought of becoming 'needy' and being a nuisance! Take care Janet

Specialmo - I hope you find some of what you're looking for here on Gn. It doesn't take the place of personal contact, but for me fills a little space that needs filling sometimes.
Hope you find someone to meet up with.

Hello there.
I lived in Hadleigh as a child - just up the road from Canvey Island. We used to cycle there in the summer. It is a small community and that made me wonder if there is much going on there and that this might contribute to feeling isolated.

Do you have any special interests that might be the start of making new friendships?

There is a branch of the U3A in Benfleet which is just around the corner from you - contact is 01268 793925. If you are not familiar with it, U3A stands for University of the Third Age - and it is not a stuffy academic organisation, but is designed to encourage interests and activities for people in their "third age" - i.e. us lot! Locally here they have singing groups, bridge clubs, outings, - well, just about anything anyone might be interested in is catered for. This is the link to their website: http://www.u3a.org.uk/home.html. It might be a chance to start a new interest maybe.

Also the WEA (Workers' Education Association) has courses and outings - your local contact is: [email protected]. The WEA was originally what it said on the tin, but nowadays is more aimed at retired people in the main.

I belong to a poetry group, a book club, a singing group etc. etc. Why don't you put a notice in the local shop and see if anyone would like to come to your place and start a book club? That way you would not need to walk or drive.

Do you have a parish mag for the island? - these are often full of things that are going on.

Lots of good luck!

Hello Specialmo like you i live alone and sometimes feel a bit down and have only recently joined gransnet I enjoy reading all the messages and have got answers to problems, lots of kind souls on here,when your feeling down have a look at the This Made me Laugh Forum does it for me.keep your chin up at least we have summer to look forward to

specialmo Hello - you only posted today so just wait a wee bit and I am sure that more people will appear with ideas. I don't live near you either but as is often said, use this place as there is almost always someone on to chat to. You have told us your real name which is lovely but wait another wee while, perhaps until you can PM (private message button at end of a person's purple bar with their name on) before you give out any more personal details just to be safe - all the world can see this bit. I think you will enjoy GN and soon get the idea. Love to you and hope to read more from you soon.

So very very sorry, but this thread does not quite ring true.
Has this been started because of press reports stating that " loneliness " is worse for old people than smoking??
Sorry again, but the post does not sound sincere.

Hello Specialmo, I do wish I lived nearer to you, I`d love to meet up for lunch and a chat. There`s been some good advice on here though, and hopefully someone will be near enough for a meet up soon.

Hello, specialmo, I don't agree with johanna. You do sound genuine to me and obviously to other posters as well. I echo everything Mishap says about U3A. There are probably many members who live in similar circumstances to yours (and mine). I have thoroughly enjoyed getting involved in new interests, making new friends and joining in theatre trips. Meanwhile, stick with us. We have a good virtual community on GN.

Hello johanna, I must say that I find your comment disappointing, I can assure you that I am sincere and genuinely want to make new friends, I have always led a very busy life and now the " kids " have left home I feel very empty and I also nursed my husband through cancer and of course that took up lots of my time and now he has " gone " there is suddenly nothing to do, my best friend also died 2 years ago from cancer, I am not looking for sympathy and I know there must be others out there who are like me, I was just hoping for a way to restart my life and make some new friends and I am sorry you think otherwise, but you are entitled to you own oppinion and I respect that, I have had a few more positive replies so I am not ready to give up on the world yet, as I have only just joined I hope perhaps some one who lives nearer to me or perhaps find themselves in the same position will make contact, meanwhile "thanks " to those of you who have responded more positvely, I will answer you all later, I have to go to the shops at the moment so I will get back on site tomorrow and and answer the kind people who did believe me

Hi Mishap, thankyou for your reply, I do have to go out at the moment ( pie and mash shop ) in Basildon for my dinner tonight, plus the going out will give me something to do, I will reply a bit longer to you post tomorrow if thats alright, and also to the other people who responded positively, bye for now

Hi Mishap, many thanks for the links you gave me, I shall look into them after the hols, Hadliegh is like a ghost town, I dont know if it was like that when you lived there, it is just a place that you drive through on the way to Southend, not many shops to browse and Canvey is really more of the same, just a few main shops i.e. Boots, Superdrug , lots of charity shops and a few banks that sort of thing, I am not one for sitting indoors and knitting or that sort of thing thats what makes it so hard as although my body is 74 my brain seems to think its still 25, you know the sort of thing, " the mind is willing but the flesh is weak ", I try desperately not to feel sorry for myself as that does not help and I find myself watching lots of T.V. and that gets pretty boring and repetitive, sorry if I sound a bit lackless, but I am determined to find somewhere where they will cater for what I am looking for, there must be something out there, its just a matter of keep on looking and trying, I cant do baking or that kind of thing as my back wont support me long enough to stand, there is a tiny light at the end of the tunnel as when I get an appointment with my pain management consultant I am going to have something called " Denervation " they pass an electric current through a particular nerve in the spine and its meant to block the pathway to the brain so the brain does not get the message that it hurts you, no guarantees that it will work, but I met some one who was painfree for 3 months after having it done, I have had injections into my spine before but without much luck, it would be nice to find some one on this site that lives reasonably close, I have a car and would travel, obviously not to the other end of the country as that is not practical but I dont mind going a fair way, I thought that after my husband passed away life would be easier with my so called " freedom " as I " cared " for him through his illness which was pretty intensive, and I had a friend who I worked with and we knew each other for over 25 years then she died form cancer, I think my problem was I put all my eggs in one basket, I do have Friends mostly from my working days as I was their supervisor and we worked all over the country so obviously they live miles away from me, Southampton, Dorset, Andover, I guess I set myself up for a fall as I thought that retirement would be a doddle, it would be if only this body would do what I want it to, but its not over til its over or til the fat lady sings ( so they say ), I just dont want to waste the years I have left being sad and lonely, well I guess I must have chewed your ear off by now, but I really am grateful for your kindness and info, also the other kind words I have had from other members on this site, only one negative which upset me a bit as it inferred I was lying and not sincere, I fail to see what I would get out of posting an insincere message, still it was only 1 and I tend to think that people who think others are insincere must be that way themselves to even think that of some one they dont know, still it takes all sorts to make the world go round, so once again thankyou to you and all the other " nice " posters who welcomed me, sorry its a long post, and I hope I have not bored you, I will keep you informed about the links you gave me, lets hope I find somewhere to go and some thing to do, bye for now and my best wishes to you

HI Shysal, Thanks for your input, I dont like the wheeled walking aids as I dont want to look like I am disabled, and my little shopping trolley allows me to look just like other people who use them, not that I think there is anything wrong with the wheeled walkers or the people who use them, its just my personal preference, and I hope I have not upset any one who uses the wheeled walking aids, my little trolley folds down flat and goes in the boot of the car, you said in your post you did not want to be " needy or a nuisance or indeed a burden " I dont think any of us would want to be that, I have two sons who phone me to ask if I am alright and that sort of thing and occasionally we get together for a meal etc. I would like more contact but I have to respect that they have their lives to lead and I am grateful for them, we have always been a very close family and its so nice when I go to see them that I dont want it to end, it always ends up the same old thing that you have had such a wonderful time and then come home to an empty house, but like you said in your post you would dread to become needy so would I and I try not to be, anyway enuff said for now Shysal I just wanted to thank you for you kindness and suggestion, many thanks, Specialmo

Hello specialmo,I lived in Basildon for 30 years,I havent visited Canvey for the last 5 years as we moved away,my godmother lived there for many years in Gainsborough ave/rd....are u at that end of the island,maybe you knew herxx

Hi Nelliedeane, I have heard of Gainsborough Ave/ Rd but I cant place it at the moment as I usually am either driving off the Island or back on to it, I live at "Jones Corner" near to the police station and fire station, I have lived here since 1979, bought the kids up here, they are all grown up now and one lives in Barking and the other one lives in Sevenoaks in Kent, I prefer the part of the Island that I live in, the other bit of the Island is called the point but I think the end that I live is best, I will get on to Google and find out where Gainsborough Ave / Rd is, its got my mind going now so I must look it up bye for now Specialmo

I grew up in Barking and moved to Basildon when I married very small world,Yes know where Jones corner is think Gainsborough rd/ave is off Gafzelles Drive I believe that is up by the pointxx

Sad to hear that Hadleigh has gone down the drain - it was a village when I lived there with a castle and a school and it was a lovely little place. I don't think I will visit it again - always a mistake to go back!!

Mishap I still have family nearby in Basildon I am told the area around the castle is being used for the olympics and being developed for that I believe it is something to do with cycling.

When we moved south after living in the north all our lives until retirement, someone said to me "The world won't beat a path to your door. You have to go out and meet it halfway" So I joined my village WI and what a great thing it has proved to be! I have made so many friends and discovered new interests and had lots of fun. I recommend Specialmo tries it!

There is a WI on Canvey and they meet on the 2nd Thursday in the month from 1.45pm to 3.45pm at the WI Hall, Lionel Rd., Canvey. More information is available from 01268 693955.

It's worth a try Spedialmo! Good luck and keep your chin up!

Hello, Specialmo (Janet) and welcome. Please do not think that one member is typical of all of us - there are not more than about four people who seem to want to upset others and cause trouble
Many of us have problems of all kinds and I know I am not alone in having found great sympathy and support from most Gransnetters.
My sister also has severe mobility problems and she uses a sturdy shopper too - she doesn't drive, so she has to have something that she can get easily onto the little bus that serves her estate. She has joined two groups of women that meet in her local library and she has made many friends. They have guest speakers and go on outings to the theatre, cinema, restaurants, and she has even had a weekend away on Llandudno with them.
She has four sons, two of whom live within ten minutes drive but they are too selfish to give her a day out or even pick her up from the supermarket when she does her shopping.
I am also alone, but I actually enjoy it and have chosen to live in a very isolated part of France, so my story is very different.

Please keep posting and let us know if you are able to take up any of the suggestions that have been made.
My best wishes to you.