I have finally faced the truth about my estranged daughter and the part I played . I never faced up to the fact that as an adult she has always bullied and manipulated me and I never called her out on it.
When she was little, she was the comedian in the family, always getting out of trouble by making us laugh and using her charm to get her own way, and carried this on as an adult. I allowed this to happen because I am a people pleaser and I thought that it was my role to keep everyone happy.
An example would be, if she wanted me to babysit, she would not ask me directly but would say in front of the GC " if you don't behave Grandma won't let you stay for the weekend" leaving me in the position of disappointing my GC by not agreeing, no matter what plans I then had to change.
Another time when she was having major renovations done to her house, she arrived on my doorstep one evening with suitcases, children, dogs and gerbil in tow . She said " it's your lucky day Mum, you get to have the pleasure of our company because our electric is off for the weekend!" That " weekend" lasted eight months as she and her husband decided it was much easier for them to work on the house whilst I took full time care of the children and animals. She said from time to time that they would contribute for food etc but they never did. In fact I never even got a thankyou or a bunch of flowers, just a wrecked house and a depleted bank balance.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I now realise that my cowardice in not tackling her when she expected me to just drop everything for her needs has played a large part in the situation I have now. I no longer agonise over what I have done to upset her because the answer is simple, I am no longer any use to her and have been dispensed with and that's my own fault.
