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Missing my neighbours

(19 Posts)
CoolCoco Fri 15-Mar-24 14:46:54

My lovely neighbours of some 20 years have just moved out. I feel almost bereft. They were such good friends , with us through highs and lows, lots of drinks in the garden, suppers, New Year’s Eve parties, always dependable and good for a laugh. We joked and said it’s the “end of an era.” , and it really is. There’s a lovely young couple moving in, but it won’t be the same. We’ll keep in touch and visit, some 2.5 hours drive away, but I’m feeling almost tearful I know it will pass and we’ve been lucky having such great neighbours, but am I just being daft - can anyone relate to this feeling?

Ilovecheese Fri 15-Mar-24 15:07:36

Yes! Our really good neighbours have just received an offer on their house. They have been so good, keeping our spare keys, keeping an eye out when we are away. We will miss them, and the sound of their little children's footsteps next door. You are not daft or alone.

Mel1967 Fri 15-Mar-24 15:36:58

How nice to have had such lovely neighbours.
We live in a very small road - just 14 houses.
Apart from saying hello occasionally - we don’t speak to any of ours

Judy54 Fri 15-Mar-24 16:47:54

I know exactly how you feel our lovely neighbours are just about to move and we will miss them so much. The time is right for them to do this and we are looking forward to welcoming our new neighbours. Everything changes!

kittylester Fri 15-Mar-24 16:55:05

I know how you feel too. Our next door neighbours have moved but the house is still for sale.

She was at school with, and a friend of, our middle daughter and I was good friends with her mum who now is in a home and has quite advanced Alzheimer's Disease.

It's almost like another daughter moving away.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 15-Mar-24 16:58:11

Our neighbours opposite moved just after Christmas, we really miss them.

dragonfly46 Fri 15-Mar-24 17:56:46

Our neighbours moved last year and I was pleased they went. Our new neighbours are lovely.

Desdemona Fri 15-Mar-24 18:37:30

I know the feeling of missing a neighbour. The daft thing is we didn't even see each other that much - when we did we would have a chat and did the usual neighbourly things like putting out the bin, taking in parcels etc.

I am the sort of person that hates change.

grannyqueenie Fri 15-Mar-24 18:57:10

A long time ago but yes I can relate to that. In the late 90’s our lovely neighbour of over 20 years moved. We’d been through so much together births, deaths, divorce (hers not mine!) and the everyday stuff of bringing up our children. She’d become like a sister to me and I was so sad to see her go along with her 2nd husband, who we’d grown to love too. Like you it really was “the end of an era” and I felt very lost. The good news is that, despite another house move for them and one for us too, we are still in touch and enjoy meeting up when we can. We have good neighbours where we are now but it’s nothing like the special bond we had previously.

Puzzlelove Fri 15-Mar-24 19:30:10

We were the ones who moved from a lovely close several years ago. We used to get together on the spur of the moment for bbq’s, dinners etc., and spent many a New Year’s Eve together. I really missed the neighbours when we moved and never got that same relationship where we moved to and where we live now.

I really appreciated it when one couple in particular visited us regularly. I’m sure they will love it if you can visit them in their new home/area.

flappergirl Fri 15-Mar-24 20:49:51

I can totally relate to this. In the last 18 months I've had three lots of neighbours move out, each of them having been neighbours for 26 years. It has really affected me. Same as you OP, we've shared bbqs, drinks in the garden as well as some sad occasions. They were there for me when I was suddenly widowed in 2016.

They were the best friends I've ever known and actually it's been rather devastating.

25Avalon Fri 15-Mar-24 23:05:16

Yes, two years ago when my neighbours moved to their holiday flat and then bought a bungalow miles away. Sadly the wife was in and out of hospital and then shortly after moving into the bungalow developed dementia and is now in a care home. It was a year before we found where they had gone. Very sad as they knew no one where they went and it’s too far for anyone from the village to visit which we all would. She didn’t want to go. It was only luck I saw her on the day they moved as her dh moved them out a day earlier.

biglouis Sat 16-Mar-24 01:31:19

Well I sure dont miss my neighbours after 20 years of low level harassment.

Husband died 2 years ago and wife declined rapidly with dementia. She has now gone to live with one of her adult children and the house has been empty since September. I suppose they will eventually put it on the market because its a 4 bedroom detached so should be snapped up by a family looking fr good schools.

Detached houses make a lot of difference when you have unpleasant neighbours.

BlueBelle Sat 16-Mar-24 05:32:31

No neighbours that I more than nod and say hello to I ve never had nasty neighbours but neither have I had ‘in your house’. neighbours since I was young and first lived in service homes then we were in and out of each others then straight after in civvy street I lived on a council estate with lots of young families so again we were all friends and socialising with the children
Since I moved to this house 40 years ago and the children grew and flew I haven’t had those sort of neighbours everyone’s out at work and busy
But it’s all ok

Whiff Sat 16-Mar-24 05:47:33

I don't miss my old neighbours. I could have been dead on the floor and no one would have noticed. I moved over 100 miles to the north west in mid 2019. Best thing I could have ever done. Never known such kind and caring people not just the neighbours in my road but even my neighbour at the bottom of my garden.

But then again in my time here never met anyone who isn't nice. Healthcare here is far superior to what I had before. Northerners are the salt of the earth.

Serendipity22 Sat 16-Mar-24 08:08:12

I know precisely how you feel. My neighbour, was far more than being called 'a neighbour ', she was part of my family, part of my life, like a 2nd mum, she has recently gone into a care home.

It isn't anything to do with new neighbours coming, its like a loss that she is no longer there for me to pop round to visit and have a chat and a laugh over a cup of tea and biscuit. Yes i go see her at the care home, of course I do, but the whole ambiance just isn't the same, the familiarity has gone. She lived next door for over 40 years, its like a loss. 😔

NotSpaghetti Sat 16-Mar-24 08:18:16

biglouis isn't that just the case! I will never choose a semi or terrace again - or a property with shared access! Even if it means I must live in a shoebox - once you have had truly bad neighbours you need a barrier for your own peace of mind.

Like dragonfly46 we have had experience of both bad and lovely. If I had to sacrifice amazing neighbours to avoid bad ones and be left with just "ordinary" or "indifferent " ones I would do it.

Gingster Sat 16-Mar-24 08:22:59

We moved away from our neighbours who we were ‘like family’ with. We aren’t far away and we meet up most weeks.
She lost her husband shortly after we moved and still misses us dreadfully.
When we are in company , she always tells people Gingster left me . I feel bad and I do miss living next door to her.

Fair2good Sat 16-Mar-24 09:10:19

Where we live we’ve ended up ‘the last man standing’ as all the neighbours we knew have died or gone into nursing homes. I miss them all dreadfully. We’ve lived in the same house over forty years. Apart from the people who’ve moved in either side of us, we don’t even know the names of anyone else living in our road now.