Visiting Family In Australia.

I also don't really want to spend my "holiday time" in America where my son lives.
It's a problem lots of us must face when our loved ones are living elsewhere. I even still have friends in America from when it was our home - but they are so far away from our son (and each other) that we would have to have a really long trip to see them.

You say they wouldn’t come over here, even if we paid their fares - why not?
The grandchildren could even come separately now they are older and may like the opportunity - especially if they had time to see more of the UK? Likewise
your daughter and husband could come over without the "children" if they didn't want to all pile in on you.

I would definitely ask.
Good luck.

Our next door neighbours used to go to visit their son and DIL every couple of years, they always booked an apartment so that they could ‘do their own thing’.
But I know they struggled to find things to do and places to see, as the children grew up and the adults were at work, so the visits got fewer.
Then they invented FaceTime, which suited everyone much better, by then the neighbours were in their 80s and finding travelling difficult.

What about meeting up in Bali which is easily accessible from Australia? Lots of interesting things to see and do there and that way everyone would get a proper holiday.

I sympathise. We went to DS1 & family this summer (in USA). We were lucky as DS1 took time off work and we went out and about a bit. it was nice to be part of family life for a few weeks, but the DGC are now virtually teenagers and mostly doing their own thing and DDiL is working; it is a busy household.
We don't drive over there and there is zero public transport. So if he had been at work we would have spent a lot of time on our own.

Thank you for replies.

Yes, we could pay for them to come over, well for DD and SIL, think paying for 5 would stretch us. Trouble is, whoever came, they would all want to be doing things which all cost money. We cannot afford to treat them unfortunately. And don’t think any of them has a lot of spare cash. They came over here for DD’s 40th birthday several years ago, stayed with us, we took them to Centre Parcs with DS and his family, our treat, then they stayed in London sightseeing and onto to Disneyland Paris. Very costly, they said they couldn’t see themselves coming over again for a long time. When in the past we have gone over and stayed with them, we have taken them out for meals, bought groceries, taken gifts. This was when the GC were younger of course.

The same applies if we met up in Bali or similar. They can’t afford it and we can’t treat them all.

I so want to see them all, that’s another thing, if DD and SIL came alone, we wouldn’t see the GC.

I suppose I want to go there, see them for a few days, just spend time with them, especially DD who I never get a chance to have a really good mum and daughter chat with. But to make it worthwhile, you need to go for more than a few days, and flights are so expensive now.

I wish they lived in Europe or even the USA, as a visit there could be tied in with a holiday for us then onto see them. As I said in my OP, Australia’s capital city is not our idea of a holiday.

But they don’t (live elsewhere) and if we want to see them before we get too old to travel, we must sort something out.

My Sister-in-law lives with her partner on a farm between Sydney and Canberra. We love them dearly and have been out a couple of times. We have been talking about another visit, but I would prefer to spend such a big amount of money on a couple of other trips as I feel we’ve done what we might want to do in Australia (barrier reef, rainforest, ocean road etc). But I’m also aware that none of us are getting any younger and this might be the ‘last’ opportunity. We are very conflicted.

Could you stay somewhere near Canberra, up in the hills perhaps or Mt Kosciusko ? Hire a car to get around so you are not stuck. They grow up fast, those children, and it would be a shame to miss out on them when they are young.

Maybe the issue comes from not having a budget for the trips?

Not sure what you mean about a budget for trips Hithere. If you’re talking about when the family came over here, they had a budget and used it wisely, but it isn’t something that they can easily repeat, a bit of a one off.

The children are not young nanna8, they are 20, 18 and 15. We went every year when they were young.

Sarahmob yes, you understand exactly what I mean. It’s a lot of money to spend visiting somewhere you are not too keen on., but you want to see the family.

Conflicted is a good way to describe it.

I know a few families with this kind of conflict. Some do house sitting or house swaps to make it more affordable.
I think that a very open discussion is needed - such as- how much is each family willing to contribute to the holiday pot?
As for spending precious holiday money on a trip you don't want to do, I am very sympathetic. Could you think about doing one more trip, whilst able, to see them one las time?