I shouldn't really be on this thread. Its not my unreasonableness I am questioning, but someone elses.
DH belongs to an amateur operatic group 15 miles away. After 65 years of performing, directing, making props, etc etc for various groups, DH decided that this year was his last year. His health has not been good and it was time to retire. This years's show would be his last
For the last two years,however, a non driving member of the group who lives even further away and came in with a neighbour, has started expecting DH to go on a 10 mile detour to give him a lift when the neighbour, also elderly and ill, wasn't available.
When it was occasional DH didn't mind, but it was almost doubling his round trip to rehearsal and in the last year his health hasn't been good. Despite this the man still kept asking for lifts.
Three weeks ago DH collapsed at a rehearsal, was brought home and ended up being rushed to hospital and having a pacemaker fitted, talk about miracles! The difference overnight in his energy levels and activity was miraculous. However he had decided to drop out of the opera he was directing, but earlier last week, feeling much better he decided he could manage to conduct the three performances so that his career ended with a bang not a whimper. By the third night he was exhausted, but I was there and I was driving.
As we were walking back to the car after the performance, the sponger (as DH calls him) and daughter walked with us. I assumed that either his daughter had a car or someone else was giving them a lift home. When we got to our car, they stopped too. DH and I each opened a back passenger door, to put various bits and pieces on the back seat.
As we did the faces of the sponger and daughter absolutely collapsed and I realised that despite not asking us or taking into account my DH's exhaustion, which was obvious, they were expecting us to give them a lift home, an extra 10 miles on a 15 mile journey.
I just turned to them and said 'DH is exhausted I need to get him home and get him to bed, I cannot give you a lift' and got in and drove off. I was absolutely furious, that knowing how ill DH still was and how he was pushing himself to complete that final performance they still just assumed that we would go miles out our way to get them home. Didn't even ask!
I do not know how they gor home yesterday, and I do not really care. But as an example of monumental selfishness, it takes a lot of beating.
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AIBU
Oh Monica, I feel so cross for you and your husband, the sheer lack of empathy! To be taken for granted like that is dreadful. People like that make you feel like not bothering at all. Such good, positive news that your husband is feeling so much better, take good care of each other and the free loaders can b*gger off
Well done for your quick thinking MOnica and I hope your husband is getting better every day . He knows he has a very supportive wife.
`I think we have all had or known of incidents like this but not all are quick enough to put a stop to it.
I gave a lift for quite a few years to someone for work lectures thinking her husband had their car. One snowy week I phoned and said I was going straight home, she persuaded me the roads would be clear.
After a very slippery journey back and a considerable detour to her house. We arrived to find her husband's car on their drive and she said that it was his half day. So she could have had his car all along.
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