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AIBU

Holidays with in laws -need to say no

(91 Posts)
Gwiz5 Tue 04-Oct-22 21:37:10

Every year ( except covid) I am expected to agree to a 10 day holiday with my in laws . Now they are 76 mil and fil 79 in fairly good health but drink like fishes. We have always had a good relationship however It’s now become apparent that my patience has run dry regarding the near constant bickering , picking up , cooking , repeated conversations, things being broken , lost , excessive drinking and this happens every single time for the last 18 years .
They arrive days ahead , I wait hand foot and finger because the sheer volume of mess they make when doing a simple thing such as a cuppa is literally breathtaking.
I’m day 10 into a holiday with them and have had enough. I’ve come down with a heavy cough / cold but I’m still doing stuff. My hubby does also do things too but it’s his parents so..
Their bickering isn’t funny anymore and it’s scares the crap outta me because my husband is very similar with his reactions .. dear god I actually fear that we will become the next generation of them ..I cannot deal with it.
Anyway I told my husband today I am done I don’t want to do any more holidays with them , that I feel like their carer and I don’t feel like I have had a break at all. And just now they said my sil has invited them for Xmas .. but they expect to stay with us . And are talking about next years holiday ?
I want to say no. I wait to see if they bring it up again when sober .
I do love them but it’s just bloody hard work.

Esmay Sun 09-Oct-22 13:44:40

Hi .
Poor you .
This is your holiday.
I would say no -easier said than done .
Some relatives are such poor company or totally exhausting.
I was so relieved when a family member cancelled a self catering holiday .
She can't cook .
I would have be stuck with endless baby sitting .
I really love kids , but I need a break .
She nit picks and loses her temper with me .
I was actually dreading it .
I even thought of feigning an illness .
Yes , really !

Norah Sun 09-Oct-22 15:06:43

Gwiz5

*UPDATE* BIG GIRL PANTS WORN*
Hello you lovely lot, so thanks to all of
You that took time to respond and give support . I have had the chat , my OH is on board , no to Xmas no more holidays and a revision of the expectation to stay here whenever they get invited by the sil ( reads as : nope not here but there are some lovely b+bs nearby )
It surprised me that OH was actually as peed off with it as I was.
I’m still poorly ?. But we arrived home yesterday and they are leaving to go back to their own home now .. thank the stars.

Well done you. Wonderful conclusion.

vegansrock Sun 09-Oct-22 15:15:23

I’m horrified by sewage in the sea, the destruction of the natural world and the climate crisis, amongst other things. I would not be horrified by a few derogatory remarks, based on experience, of a supermarket cafe.

notgran Sun 09-Oct-22 18:51:27

Say what?

Mollygo Sun 09-Oct-22 20:38:38

vegansrock

I’m horrified by sewage in the sea, the destruction of the natural world and the climate crisis, amongst other things. I would not be horrified by a few derogatory remarks, based on experience, of a supermarket cafe.

I don’t get this post.

Callistemon21 Sun 09-Oct-22 21:26:28

Mollygo

vegansrock

I’m horrified by sewage in the sea, the destruction of the natural world and the climate crisis, amongst other things. I would not be horrified by a few derogatory remarks, based on experience, of a supermarket cafe.

I don’t get this post.

Me neither ?

BigBertha1 Sun 09-Oct-22 22:09:51

Just had a week away with my sister and her husband. We rented a house and they rented another nrarby.....almost perfect.

Aldom Sun 09-Oct-22 22:36:28

Just guessing, but I think the post might have been intended for the thread about soup and a roll for £1.00 in Asda.

Aldom Sun 09-Oct-22 22:37:32

The above is to Callistermon smile

vegansrock Mon 10-Oct-22 08:42:14

Sorry posted in wrong thread.!

Harris27 Mon 10-Oct-22 08:49:49

Duty done have a holiday to yourselves next year.

Callistemon21 Mon 10-Oct-22 09:08:24

vegansrock

Sorry posted in wrong thread.!

Ok! ?

Gwiz5 Mon 10-Oct-22 19:20:10

Hey cabbie21. We told them Xmas was a no go with us and that we are planning a trip to the USA next year and that’s done the trick. Honestly such a relief. Now if I could just persuade this bloody chesty cough to sod off I would be thrilled !

Mollygo Tue 11-Oct-22 09:48:20

Congratulations and good luck shaking off your cough ASAP!

Cabbie21 Tue 11-Oct-22 15:27:21

Well done, Gwiz. Hope you feel better soon.