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Scams and fraud

Being conned whilst shopping

(34 Posts)
Oldmutton Fri 02-Dec-22 22:32:46

I feel such a fool. Whilst out shopping I was approached by a woman and a boy of about nine years old. The woman wondered if I might like to sponsor the boy. Apparently he was going to do a sponsored swim in memory of his grandad in aid of the lifeboats. My instinct was to say yes of course. They produced a sheet with names and amounts. All for £10! I gave them a fiver, asked him how far he was swimming and that was that. It was only when I was walking away that I realised how stupid I had been. Why wasn't the boy at school? People wouldn't be handing over £10 in the street. Whatever was I thinking of?
I shall be more careful in future!

nanna8 Fri 02-Dec-22 22:37:09

Ah well, in their minds they needed the money. The kid was probably not from a good family being not in school so maybe the money bought him a meal. I wouldn’t regret it, just feel sorry for them that they had to resort to this.

welbeck Fri 02-Dec-22 22:39:34

i wouldn't have even spoken to them.
i'm afraid they saw you coming, literally.
never mind, but check your wallet etc as pickpockets often operate like that too, by distraction, flourishing papers, maps etc.
don't let anyone stand too close to you and develop what is called a RBF over on MN.
has its uses.

MerylStreep Fri 02-Dec-22 22:40:16

Don’t beat yourself up. These vultures prey on peoples good nature.
If you had thought, you should have taken a photo and put it on your local FB.

VioletSky Fri 02-Dec-22 22:53:07

There is a lady who hangs around fast food places in town. She always has a food voucher and asks for enough for the meal. She never buys the meal.

I often give her the money anyway. She obviously needs it for something.

Maybe she spends it on alcohol or drugs but her life does not look happy and I don't begrudge her what ever happiness she is capable of finding at this stage in her life.

Just give and don't worry where it goes.

You just don't know what someone else is dealing with in life

Hetty58 Fri 02-Dec-22 23:18:25

I'm fairly sure that I've been conned a few times by older kids knocking on the door with those 'school sponsorship' forms for charity. Anyone could print them. Now, I wouldn't give money in advance, just ask them to come back when they've completed the challenge - I bet they don't.

nanna8 Sat 03-Dec-22 00:14:49

Same as VioletSky. Who are we to judge ?

Oldwoman70 Sat 03-Dec-22 07:12:07

Whilst the initial reaction is to support those raising money for charities - I now don't hand out cash. If approached by someone to sign up for a charity I never do so on the spot, I ask for leaflets to take away so I can consider whether to support or not.

I never used to be like this but with so many scams and fraudsters around I'm afraid I have become suspicious of anyone asking me for money

Calendargirl Sat 03-Dec-22 07:12:47

I would never give to a random request like this, by complete strangers.

BlueBelle Sat 03-Dec-22 07:30:58

Well unfortunately violetsky and nana8 you are just compounding the woman’s problem by giving her money that is just to make your own conscious better if a woman is living on the street genuinely, then give her a cup of coffee a sandwich or go to the charity shop and buy her a coat or a blanket giving her money to make you feel good only keeps her in the miserable condenser she’s already in

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 03-Dec-22 07:38:57

On the bright side, maybe he is going to do a sponsored swim and was on his way back to school after going to the Dentist.

How bad would you have felt if you had said No?

On the other hand that might have fed him and his family and prevented him going hungry. It was £5 not £50.

BlueBelle Sat 03-Dec-22 08:44:32

Condition not condenser oh dear the curse of predictive text and rushing to post
Must do better

Namsnanny Sat 03-Dec-22 08:48:54

BlueBelle

Well unfortunately violetsky and nana8 you are just compounding the woman’s problem by giving her money that is just to make your own conscious better if a woman is living on the street genuinely, then give her a cup of coffee a sandwich or go to the charity shop and buy her a coat or a blanket giving her money to make you feel good only keeps her in the miserable condenser she’s already in

This is the advice given by several charity Directors etc.

mumofmadboys Sat 03-Dec-22 08:54:48

You were kind Oldmutton. That is the main thing

Witzend Sat 03-Dec-22 09:01:12

Don’t fret, OP - there’s a small chance that it was genuine, and even if it wasn’t, console yourself with thinking, who on earth would be reduced to doing that if they didn’t really need the money?

I know I was conned once,,by a a bloke in his 20s, apparently in distress - his young child was sick on the other side of London and he had no money for the bus fare.
Although I was pretty sure it was a con, I gave him a few £ - just on the off-chance that it wasn’t.

Not long afterwards I saw him get on the same bus as me. We made eye contact, he sat a few seats in front. But when he got off soon afterwards, he gave me such a long ‘look’ - sort of smugly, cunningly knowing - it said as plainly as anything, ‘Yes, it was me, and yes, you were a right mug - I saw you coming.’

Another time when I was with dh, a woman who was almost hysterical - something about her car - begged for a desperately needed fiver. Again, we were 99% sure it was a con, but just in case it wasn’t….

Farzanah Sat 03-Dec-22 09:18:00

mumofmadboys

You were kind Oldmutton. That is the main thing

I agree. It was only £5 and it may have been genuine. It’s easy to be suspicious these days, but I try and put myself in the shoes of those who need to approach complete strangers for money.

lixy Sat 03-Dec-22 09:29:43

I got caught by one of those too Witzend - man talking on the phone explaining that the bus wasn't running so he needed to get the train etc but clearly intending me to hear, and so yes I handed over the £10 needed to make up the fare. OH was not impressed at all when I got home, but I could sleep.

Oldmutton as others have said, you did the kind thing.

bikergran Sat 03-Dec-22 09:55:24

If it makes you feel better,try and think of it as giving £5t o a charity.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 03-Dec-22 10:00:50

We all make mistakes OP so don't beat yourself up about. You're probably too nice to say no. Look at it as a lesson for the future. "Forget the mistake, learn the lesson" is something I've read recently.

Alioop Sat 03-Dec-22 11:03:09

You are just kind hearted so don't feel bad. There are so many scammers around nowadays, next time say you are sorry, but I've already sponsored my grandson and walk away.

Smileless2012 Sat 03-Dec-22 11:07:09

You have a kind and generous heart Oldmutton, something to be proud of flowers.

VioletSky Sat 03-Dec-22 11:10:00

BlueBelle

Well unfortunately violetsky and nana8 you are just compounding the woman’s problem by giving her money that is just to make your own conscious better if a woman is living on the street genuinely, then give her a cup of coffee a sandwich or go to the charity shop and buy her a coat or a blanket giving her money to make you feel good only keeps her in the miserable condenser she’s already in

Actually, no you are wrong.

If the money is wanted for those kind of things there are more dangerous ways to get it.

Also I don't know what she wants the money for. It isn't for the meal and she obviously needs it.

Oldmutton Sat 03-Dec-22 23:59:31

Thank you everyone. Plenty of wisdom. I feel so much better

Sansovino Wed 07-Dec-22 20:17:25

I was walking up the station approach at Bristol Temple Meads when a 50-ish lady with a strong Welsh accent stopped me & said she needed £15 to get her and her daughter back to Newport. Could I help? Sorry, no. Further on, an identical copy of the lady, only about 30 years younger, the same story, except she wanted to get herself and her mother back to Cardiff. I said 'You'd better talk to your mother, because she thinks you're going to Newport'. Cue a stream of swearing.

Mintymoo Thu 25-May-23 22:36:26

I don’t understand how this could’ve been a scam. I remember a 5k charity run which included kids and they accepted cash donations around the supermarket