I feel for you. It must be horrid to feel you stick out like a sore thumb. Hopefully you’ll fit in better as time passes, or you’ll opt out and try another group.
I often turn ‘awkwardness’ into humour if I can.
For example, yesterday I was sat having coffee with 3 ladies who I don’t know particularly well. I had walked past (a garden bar, we were all in swimsuits and sarongs!) and had been invited by one to sit with them. They are nice people. They all knew one another really well. I listened as they chatted about past and upcoming holidays. Cruises planned for the next few months, a two week Thailand holiday, ‘have you been to ‘Raffles’ there?’, the beautiful such and such building etc. Obviously I couldn’t join in. No matter. I smiled, listened and was genuinely interested. The conversation continued between them. “Oh yest I’ve been to Thailand 11 times now, once for 3 months. We stayed in a friends house. We had to leave Thailand and go to Cambodia for a few days to get our passports stamped.” “I’ve been 5 times now. I adore the place. Did you stop off in Singapore like we did for 3 days?” There was a slight pause in the chat and I said ‘I’m feeling a bit left out of this conversation. Have any of you been to the Blackpool illuminations?’ Cue hilarious laughter from the 3 ladies, a slight shift in the topic and a very enjoyable half hour - which included me!
??