Aged 55+? Fill in this survey on love in later life to win £100 voucher NOW CLOSED

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Today 19:46 janeainsworth

I've done the survey, but I do wonder whether this We want to find out what gransnetters thoughts are on the secrets to a long and happy relationship and what your general feelings on love in later life are. in the introduction is perhaps going to skew the results somewhat, in the sense that those GN members who haven't had a 'long and happy relationship' might feel in some way disqualified from taking part.

Done. Perhaps questions regarding lack of intimacy (one sided) and how this affects a long term marriage/relationship would have added an extra dimension to the survey.

Done it - but found it hard to choose answers from the lists e.g. Did your sex life improve when your children left home? To which the answer would of course be Yes as it is virtually impossible to have a sex life at all in a small house when you have teenagers. But the question was linked with 'Or when you retired' where the answer would be NO because of ill-health which prompted retiring, although that did not mean it got worse, just did not improve.

In fact the entire survey did not give any answer options which allowed a response that ill-health, disability or extreme old age had had a detrimental effect on intimacy.

Love in later life does not happen only in in the form of long-term relationships .... luckily .

I found the survey rather weighted in favour of sex being a driving force in a successful long term relationship. There are other very important factors, such as long term illness of one or both partners. Love can include affection, compassion, kindness and care, and in later life these become increasingly important. I wondered who had drawn up the survey, their age and experience of long term relationships.

Done it too!
Yes, very sex weighted - DH impotent and I've lost interest, but we are about to celebrate a happy 40 years together... Sex is not needed for our relationship/intimacy to flourish...
Some of the questions were difficult to answer as I found them badly phrased.

This survey wasn't really about love in later life.... it was about sex in later life.

Totally agree with you, NotSpaghetti

Thanks to your comment janeainsworth I went and filled in the survey as a single gran (who has forgotten what sex is like!)

I was married for 39 years, but I am now divorced so I can't do the survey - although I do have experience of a long term relationship. My experience was that sexual relations stopped not long after the Asperger's diagnosis.

I'm also a single gran whose sex life is non-existent. As for the possible categories for being single, I needed "unhappily single but no longer actively seeking a partner owing to total disillusion after 7 years of fruitless searching". Still, I did the best I could with the survey and hope I have more luck with the prize draw.

MaryXYX, you can do the survey, there are only a few questions that really don't apply to non - sexually active singlies.

I've done the survey on the basis (mainly) of my 39 year marriage and commented that it's partly on the basis of my present status as a new woman.

What do they mean by sex? What is 'having sex'? Does only penis-in-vagina count, or do the thousands of other ways of bringing and getting sexual pleasure have a place in the minds of whoever wrote this survey?

It is also heteronormative, but I'd expect that from a survey written like this.
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Good point Pamish. I don't think it specified PIV but it did seem to assume it. I haven't been in a same sex relationship but at my age I would seriously consider the possibility. I don't think the survey allowed for that.

GrannyGalactia, never think never! I had forsworn all men after a string of mistakes including a conman and controlfreaks. Then, through a mutual friend, this man came into my life and saw something that I didn't. We have been together for 18 years and lived together for 10 of those. The best 18 years of my life and I wouldn't change him for the world! From my experience, all I can tell you is that it happens when you have stopped looking.

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7o year old male married 5i years have ed due to previous bladder and prostate cancer and then open heart surgery in 2014 feeling great but struggle with the ed prescribed Viagra but the normal dose of 5 mg not working been told up it to 10 mg or even 20 mg but am concerned about this anyone else have this problem . My wife is very understanding and we have each other that's all that matters at our age .