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Feeling so despondent - rescue dogs - ageism striking?

(84 Posts)
HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 13:00:43

Since before lockdowns, we have been trying to adopt a dog from a rescue and getting absolutely nowhere.

I found a gorgeous Golden Retriever puppy (five months old) on one rescue this week, and completed an application form.

We are a three adult household, with 10 and 11 year old grandchildren. The 11 year old visits us once a week (she has two Springer Spaniels at her dad's house) and the 10 year old visits us once every three months. This was made clear on the application form.

I have today received an email saying that the dog is not suitable for a home with children.

I am shocked at this. How can a five month old puppy, of a breed which is known to be an excellent dog for families, not be suitable for a household where children only visit? Children who either have dogs currently, or have lived with dogs in the past.

Are they saying that if you're taking the dog for a walk, make sure you're nowhere near children? Is it realistic to only home a puppy (who has come from a breeder to the rescue - I don't know why, but they seem to have a lot from breeders when the puppies don't sell) where there are never going to be any children?

Or is it, as I suspect, that at 62 and 63, they think we are too old to have dogs/puppies? My son, who lives with us, is 30, so there will be someone around who can still exercise the dog (who will of course, also be ageing as the years go on).

I feel so deflated at this. We are committed to getting a dog, but it's beginning to look more and more as though the only way it's going to happen is if we go direct to a breeder, which we really didn't want to do, given how many dogs are in rescues waiting for homes.

JaneJudge Sun 28-Aug-22 13:03:03

Have you tried smaller rescue organisations? They seem to be less strict than the bigger ones

Casdon Sun 28-Aug-22 13:06:40

Whatever the reason it’s not because of your ages. I know lots of people who have adopted rescue dogs into their seventies. The dog has probably had no socialisation at all and is very anxious around people, did you state on your application form if you’re experienced at handling rescue dogs and understand their psychological issues?

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 28-Aug-22 13:08:00

How many rescue centres have you tried? Why not consider an older dog - they are very rewarding and so many in rescue centres. Everyone wants a puppy and overlooks the older dogs.

3dognight Sun 28-Aug-22 13:20:43

You could probably go straight to a breeder and obtain an older pup at a fraction of the price they sold for a couple years ago. I am in the market for a young pointer to go with my other two, and I see well bred pups which were £2500 to £3500 two years ago now going for under £1000, also breeders are having to keep pups longer before before selling, so you may well find a lovely 4 to 5 month old youngster at a great price if you do your homework.

You sound as if you have a lovely home set up, and a breeder would be more than happy with that. Probably extremely grateful to get the pup away where it can have the one to one, and socialisation it so needs.

Too many hoops to jump through for getting a rescue, with abit of ageism thrown in.

Elizabeth27 Sun 28-Aug-22 13:47:01

I suspect that the puppy was perceived as aggressive towards a child or has not mixed with children, ridiculous on both counts as it is a puppy, from the centre's perspective if the puppy bit a child they would be liable to prosecution if they were aware of previous behaviour.

ExDancer Sun 28-Aug-22 14:09:20

It seems very odd that they should treat you this way. Are you being too specific in the breed you're looking for? Would you take a mongrel of unknown parentage for example?
It is possible whoever has been dealing with your request is indeed taking your age into consideration - you've mentioned Springers and Retrievers which are both lively dogs in their youth though both usually good with children - so I'd try elsewhere if I were you and just mention in passing you have grandchildren with dogs at home.
There's quite a lot at age-ism about. sad

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 28-Aug-22 14:32:54

I’ve just adopted a 7 year GSD. 71, husband 75. Certainly no sign of ageism. Had we wanted a puppy I expect - and hope -we would have been turned down. It’s what’s best for the dog that matters.

Oldbat1 Sun 28-Aug-22 14:37:06

Sorry you weren’t successful on this occasion. There are many many lovely dogs in rescue and sadly due to lack of kennel space dogs are being put to sleep. Many families acquired puppies during Covid lockdown and now wish to relinquish these dogs. Try visiting local rescue kennels. Think about adopting a greyhound. I have three “unwanted” rescues currently. Good luck.

Hellogirl1 Sun 28-Aug-22 14:42:58

I was turned down by a cat rescue centre because I didn`t have a garden for the cat to play in. Stupid!

J52 Sun 28-Aug-22 14:49:17

We’re thinking about a rescue dog, although haven’t applied yet. There is a site called ‘Oldies’ ( dogs not people!) they might be more tolerant of visiting children. Some of their dogs will have been in families with children. Sadly they a given up at an older age due to the cost.

Patsy70 Sun 28-Aug-22 14:57:21

HurdyGurdy. We had difficulty with a number of dog rescue centres in the UK when we were looking to adopt a dog five years ago. Our previous dog was a rescue, a small collie cross, about a year old who’d given birth to 3 pups in the rescue centre, having been found as a stray. She was delightful, no problems whatsoever, and we were looking for a similar crossbreed. There were many greyhounds and staffies waiting to be adopted, but we really wanted a crossbreed. Having waited for some time we contacted a charity who bring dogs over from Spain, having been abandoned and left, in some cases, to die. After many conversations with the charity organisers and being home checked, we went ahead and adopted Dylan. He is adorable and gentle with everyone, including the children. It has not been without its challenges, but he is a very welcome member of our family, and all who meet him fall in love with him.
On another note, we are being told incessantly that, since lockdown, so many people decided to get a puppy, whilst working from home. Since going back to work, they find they haven’t got the time or energy and that is why so many young dogs are now at rescue centres. I do hope you find the dog you are looking for, they are such good company. Good luck.

Blondiescot Sun 28-Aug-22 15:00:55

After we lost our old Lab in June 2020, I wanted to adopt a rescue dog, but virtually all the rescues we tried (including local ones) wouldn't consider us because we had our grandson, then aged 3, living with us. I completely understand the reasoning behind this, and they do have to have strict criteria, but I feel sometimes a lot of dogs miss out on what could be the perfect home for them. We ended up getting a puppy instead, but I would certainly rehome a rescue home at some stage.

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 15:15:41

JaneJudge

Have you tried smaller rescue organisations? They seem to be less strict than the bigger ones

I would have said this one is one of the smaller ones.

We have previously adopted from RSPCA and Blue Cross (but of course, were much younger then. But our children were - well, children then too)

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 15:18:13

Casdon

Whatever the reason it’s not because of your ages. I know lots of people who have adopted rescue dogs into their seventies. The dog has probably had no socialisation at all and is very anxious around people, did you state on your application form if you’re experienced at handling rescue dogs and understand their psychological issues?

I said that we had had two previous rescue dogs, yes.

They asked for details of our vet - which we can't provide, as we don't have one. We lost our last dog about six years ago, and wouldn't use that vet again anyway. I did say that I had asked for recommendations on our local area's Facebook group, as I'd rather go to someone that's known and trusted.

They also asked what puppy training classes we would attend, and again, I couldn't answer, but said we asked for personal recommendations.

Hithere Sun 28-Aug-22 15:23:25

I think it has to do with this dog, not an ageism issue

Why why older dogs?

Dont give up, I am sure you will get your doggie soon!

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 15:24:32

Germanshepherdsmum

How many rescue centres have you tried? Why not consider an older dog - they are very rewarding and so many in rescue centres. Everyone wants a puppy and overlooks the older dogs.

We have tried the "big ones" - RPSCA, Blue Cross and Dog's Trust, as well as a couple of places that rescue from Europe - Romania and Hungary - and also two very small local places.

We'd be quite happy to have an old-er dog - maybe up to five years old, but we don't make the grade on those either.

My husband is very fussy. Unfortunately he's all about the looks - his ideal would be GSD or Malamute, nothing with a "squashed in nose", no slobber, nothing small, nothing yappy. It's hard to get something that meets his criteria. Sad really, because I know he'd be all soppy with whatever dog came to live with us, once he'd got used to it!

I'm more about the personality of the dog, and apart from agreeing with no small dogs (my criteria is "nothing below my knee") I'm very open.

I don't even really want a puppy, but this one just really took my attention.

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 15:25:28

3dognight

You could probably go straight to a breeder and obtain an older pup at a fraction of the price they sold for a couple years ago. I am in the market for a young pointer to go with my other two, and I see well bred pups which were £2500 to £3500 two years ago now going for under £1000, also breeders are having to keep pups longer before before selling, so you may well find a lovely 4 to 5 month old youngster at a great price if you do your homework.

You sound as if you have a lovely home set up, and a breeder would be more than happy with that. Probably extremely grateful to get the pup away where it can have the one to one, and socialisation it so needs.

Too many hoops to jump through for getting a rescue, with abit of ageism thrown in.

Thank you - we may have to resort to that.

It's just a shame that we know we can offer a lovely home, and a lovely life to a rescue dog, if we'd just be given the chance.

halfpint1 Sun 28-Aug-22 15:25:43

I have adopted 3 older dogs , at different times, with no problem, loved them all. Last year I adopted a cross breed who had been part of a pack. He howled all night, refused food and water and was generally beside himself with anguish. I took him back, he obviously needed other dogs. A few weeks later
I went back and started again only to be told I had been put
on the 'dog abandoner' list and was refused entry. (this is in France) I am still in shock over that and haven't had the courage to adopt again. Sometimes the dog homes are their own worst enemies.

Hithere Sun 28-Aug-22 15:26:01

I forgot! Puppies and kittens have higher demand than older pets, so that could be why you could get denied

Please look for a vet and some classes just in case you are asked the same questions again

The rescue would like to see you are fully ready for the dog - that will get you bonus points

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 15:28:26

Elizabeth27

I suspect that the puppy was perceived as aggressive towards a child or has not mixed with children, ridiculous on both counts as it is a puppy, from the centre's perspective if the puppy bit a child they would be liable to prosecution if they were aware of previous behaviour.

You may be right. It did say on his page on the rescue's website that he'd previously had to push for food and can guard food, but goodness me, that can be dealt with, and at 11 and 10 years old, my grandchildren are able to be taught to understand and respect the dog's meal times and stay away from it when it's eating.

But it also says that he "has been handled well and is a friendly boy who is quite confident with people".

CatsCatsCats Sun 28-Aug-22 15:29:39

I'd think it was more to do with the dog's personality and/or its past life. At least, that's what is said when rehoming cats - certain cats can't go to houses with children, houses with dogs, houses with other cats, etc.

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 15:31:04

ExDancer

It seems very odd that they should treat you this way. Are you being too specific in the breed you're looking for? Would you take a mongrel of unknown parentage for example?
It is possible whoever has been dealing with your request is indeed taking your age into consideration - you've mentioned Springers and Retrievers which are both lively dogs in their youth though both usually good with children - so I'd try elsewhere if I were you and just mention in passing you have grandchildren with dogs at home.
There's quite a lot at age-ism about. sad

As mentioned above in my reply to Germanshepherdsmum, my husband has very definite views on what type of dog he will have, whereas I'm much more open.

I'm beginning to think we need to go NC with our grandchildren (joking) or just not mention them on any future applications.

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Aug-22 15:32:24

Germanshepherdsmum

I’ve just adopted a 7 year GSD. 71, husband 75. Certainly no sign of ageism. Had we wanted a puppy I expect - and hope -we would have been turned down. It’s what’s best for the dog that matters.

And of course I fully understand that the rescues have to do what they think is best for the dog, and get the best possible home for them.

I just wish they'd be more open with their reasons for turning us down.

Hithere Sun 28-Aug-22 15:33:37

OP

Why is not the one given good enough?