Thank you for your understanding Doodledog.
It doesn’t matter if some people find it strange that I wouldn’t use the word queer to describe anyone, that’s what I feel, and it’s my son that I’m feeling it about. I haven’t asked him, but I’m fairly certain that he wouldn’t like it either because he’s very traditional. However, the word used to be used in a derogatory way years ago, and it conjures up the feeling in me that somehow using it would be derogatory towards the person it was describing. This is my feeling, I own it, and so it doesn’t matter if others disagree.
The same applies to my son and his partner not appearing to be gay, in other words not camp or particularly flamboyant. They’re not, that’s just how it is. Because of this they are far less likely to be subjected to attacks or abuse when they are out and about. It’s their choice, but they never hold hands or show physical affection when out in public, although they do at home. My son is a barrister and a judge, appearing very camp or flamboyant would do him no favours in court. Obviously all his fellow barristers at his chambers know about him. It’s of no consequence to them, nor to his family, nor to his wide circle of friends, which incidentally includes no other gay people.
I find it sad that others seem a little judgemental. We live this, many of you do not. It is our lived experience.
Thank you for understanding from many of you.