Lending money to friends and/or relatives

I lend to my young adult gc on a regular basis, but it has always be paid without asking. Usually if I can afford it I will then give them some of it back, bit stupid I know but I feel immediate families, not brothers or sisters, we do what we can to help.

I lent money to a young relative they religiously paid the agreed amount for over a year then their circumstances changed drastically and payments stopped. They were continually apologising and trying to reinstate payments but it was impossible. So after a year+ of us both feeling awful I told them that I was letting them off the debt. Protestations were long and tearful but it was a relief to me to know this was no longer hanging over a much loved family member.
We managed to maintain our loving relationship.

I have lent money to all three of my children and two of them paid it back quickly. Number three was let off in the end as he was a student for years and years, ending up doing a PhD. When I worked in an Oxford college I lent a mature student a small sum of money and she repaid me only a couple of weeks later. We weren’t supposed to lend students money but that was the only time and she really had nothing. My late father would rarely agree to lend money. If he did it would be a gift!

We have lent money to our children at various times, and always have been repaid. Two out of three children paid on time without prompt, the other lagged with payments and needed reminding.

We also loaned money to friends starting out businesses. Not huge amounts, and we could afford it at the time. Once again, one paid promptly, the other did not (his business was not successful, but that's another story). We never did receive all of the money back from the second person., but have let it go, realizing that friendship is worth more than money, and people have different views on how they handle money. We still maintain our friendship.

We have always understood that you should never loan money you cannot afford to lose, because it is always a risk.

BTW, pedants... notice I have used both lent and loaned. I believe they are both correct, but feel free to correct me!

It's a minefield isn't it lending money. In general I would not lend money as it causes problems and ill feeling. I agree with the maxim - never lend money you can't afford to lose. I would lend money to my family if they were in dire straits.

Borrowed money from parents just once... we sat down together...worked out what I could afford to pay back monthly and set up a standing order to that effect.
By treating it as a proper business arrangement it was never spoken of and didnt change our relationshop in any way.
Best parents in the world.

Back in the 1960s I borrowed what was for then a lot of money to buy furniture for my first flat. I made a list of what I thought I needed and the approximate prices because my gran was a very practical person. I showed her the list, which had details of how I proposed to pay her back. We treated it like a business transaction. Every month when I got paid I transferred the agreed sum to her bank before I spent any other money.

When I have paid back about 2 thirds she told me that she would not accept any more money from me and that if I tried to sneak it into her bank she would be angry. For her the fact that I had shown willing to repay the loan in full was enough.

One did not argue with by grandmother.

Morning all from West Oxfordshire. I’m still in bed so have no idea what the weather is like! My sprained neck is still causing me pain. I need to buy some more paracetamol. We are taking daughter out for lunch today before she goes back to London. I admit to feeling a little cheesed off at the moment. So many hospital appointments looming and now my neck! If OH can get his medication sorted out we could share the driving like we used to. I hurt my neck a week ago but had no opportunity to rest it! Sorry, rant over. Have a good Sunday everyone.

Just realised I’ve put this in the wrong place! Can it be moved please?