Help, how do I stop crying when DGK emigrate next week.

We were in the same position 12 years ago, very difficult. They broke down just before departure, so we were all tearful, but off they had to go!
Once they’d arrived safely, then sensible reason took over!
Although they settled into a lovely life, they missed home and came back. They always say they might go back once the children finish school.
Hold on to the fact you can have lovely holidays seeing them.

I tried so hard not to cry when our DS went to Aus. 8 years ago Suieww but to no avail. I messaged him apologising for being so emotional and he told me there was nothing to apologise for; I'm his mum and he'd have thought it very odd if I hadn't dissolved into tears.

If you end up in tears, that will not be the last memory they have of you. Your DD and GC have a lifetime of wonderful memories, and your s.i.l. will have many memories from the time he first met you .

We’re I your family, I would think it very strange if you didn’t cry. A good blub helps to relieve the tension. Go ahead and cry and then look forward to seeing them when you next meet up.

Have you made a plan to visit them at all? I would definitely think of saving to have a holiday there.?? Australia??.
Then plan to Skype them regularly, think of things to send to them.
On the day have plenty of tissues and when you get home, have a stiff drink.
.

Have a good blub and intersperse with a few laughs and giggles about having a blub - best of both and you will all feel easier. My heart though is with you on this ♡ ♡

Thank you all so much for your messages and helpful suggestions. I now wont bottle it all up, but go with the tearful flow, hope it's only a flow and not a monsoon. Definitely leave wine in the fridge for our return.
Maybe we will get to visit in the future.

It is worth remembering that you will have lots of contact with them - just not in the same physical space. And there are lots of ways you can stay in contact with the GC by starting little gifts/letters/postcards, or other contact routines that are just yours, so they can look forward to them. When they are big enough you can have an online games competition with them.

Have a good weep when they go but send them off with your blessings and lots of plans for the future..... for different contacts to those you have been used to.

You don't. You have a really good weep. The others will be doing the same - and then start saving for the air tickets to visit them.

DS and DDiL went to US for five years and were then brought back to U.K. but they never really settled. In the three years they were back in U.K. they had DGS1 and then DS was offered a good job in US - he is an automotive design engineer and U.K. has very limited opportunities for this type of work - so he took the job and they have lived there now for 20 years. They had a second child and both have done well so far.
Of course I did not want them to go but supported their decision. They have made a good life for themselves and their two sons. They return every couple of years and we have lovely reunions. With Skype etc we have watched the boys grow and we have had a few lovely holidays - going to US for about 4/5 weeks but in that time going off to have our own road trip adventures - you meet lovely people in non-tourist places who are helpful and delighted to meet people from Europe - indeed one woman told us we were the first foreigners she had ever met and was very interested in talking to us.
Our last intended visit could not take place as I was having chemo and then we had the pandemic so non of us have travelled. However DS FaceTimes every Sunday and on days such as Christmas Day. We have in this way remained very much part of the boys lives and the saying goodbye when any of us visits is always hard but we find quick and snappy is the easiest!

Hard though this may seem, we called our parents from Heathrow and said we were just about to board the 'plane for Africa. It did not give us or them time to start an emotional farewell. They did not particularly like it, but it worked well for all parties. Mind you, this was in 1975 so everything has changed since then..........

So very hard. I feel for you. When ours left they didn't have children. The DGC was born out there. I'm trying to imagine how I'd feel if the DGC here decided to migrate too.
The ones who left said it might not be forever to soften the blow. That knowledge and alcohol helped

They have been back many times over the years and we have been out to NZ 3 times but not since he was a baby and he'll be 11 soon. Time to think about my next trip.

I would advise not to go to the airport.

Say goodbye on home turf so they are composed and ready for the "exciting" journey.

I find the time at the airport is always so much briefer than you want and they suddenly have to leave you (in bits) to go through security. And then you know they are still "there" but in a strange way have already "gone". You want to see the plane leave but know they can't discern you... I obviously wonder why...

When i say goodbye here I always get nice messages from the airport and again just as they board.
In their thoughts but not in the way.



I put the flight tracker on my phone - no reason other than to feel connected a little longer - if it's daytime it's nice to imagine them touching down

I couldn’t hold it together when we dropped DD2 and SiL off at the airport. They were off to start a new life in Australia. That was 10,yrs ago. They have returned for a holiday every summer. FaceTime and Skype have been a godsend allowing us to still be a close part of each other’s lives. Just this afternoon I FaceTimed DD and we both had a walk through our local small shopping mall admiring the Christmas lights and window shopping in the area she grew up in.

As DH was diagnosed with cancer this summer, thankfully all removed and recovering well, DD returned home for 3 months to be with us. During this time she realised how much she really was missing home and family and to our great joy, they are planning to return home to Scotland next summer. I never in my wildest dreams allowed myself think this would be a possibility but, none of us know what the future holds. Although I missed her so, so much, I kept up my mantra, as long as she is healthy and happy was what really mattered.

Having been there, I do feel for what you will go through next week. 💐

Thank you Kalu, I haven't planned on going to the airport, far too stressful. They are also going to Australia, its just such a long way. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, but glad to hear he is recovering and of course such joy that your family are returning. Its the DGC we will miss at 8 and 11, they are our joy. I have the same mantra.

Ooooh plane tracker, that sounds a great idea, Many thanks NotSpagetti

Our grandsons were quite small so we all kept up a lighthearted atmosphere at our last meal as no one wanted to worry them. It was almost a relief when they left! I did my crying in private later - but we all got over it. You will too. You are stronger than you think.

Thanks everyone, good to know I'm not alone. it can only get easier. x

Just wanted to thank everyone who posted on here. So they have gone off to pastures new and guess what?
We have survived and are doing OK. It was really hard saying goodbye and as you said they would be too, even SiL, which surprised me.
So my message to everyone on Gransnet is... keep posting, who ever reads your response will hopefully get some help/comfort in something that is often hard to handle. Even just a few kind words can mean so much.
So thank you for your help, suggestions and kindness.
Enjoy the Silly Season, we will be 4 less round our table, but we will raise a glass to the them.
Hope you all have a great Christmas too

Hope you have a happy christmas suieww. Am glad you are feeling better than you thought you would.
All good wishes and a hug. I do understand, it’s hard I know, well done.

Suieww

Just wanted to thank everyone who posted on here. So they have gone off to pastures new and guess what?
We have survived and are doing OK. It was really hard saying goodbye and as you said they would be too, even SiL, which surprised me.
So my message to everyone on Gransnet is... keep posting, who ever reads your response will hopefully get some help/comfort in something that is often hard to handle. Even just a few kind words can mean so much.
So thank you for your help, suggestions and kindness.
Enjoy the Silly Season, we will be 4 less round our table, but we will raise a glass to the them.
Hope you all have a great Christmas too

Well done you- so so hard to do.

I had a great niece visit last week, and we were talking aobut the days her great grand-dad emigrated to the USA in the late 19C. And my OH's grand-father, about the same time, to Africa. When emigrating meant you were very likely never to see your family, or your homeland, ever again. And when news took 6 weeks to arrive- and the letter, saying all was well and good, represented the past, and not the reality of the day.

Have they emigrated to the other side of the world or Europe? These days, instant news, FaceTime- and cheap and easy flights. Of course, USA is quite close these days, and easy to reach. OZ and NZ, not quite so, but still doable.

Well done you and enjoy Christmas with the rest of family, planning your trip over.

Just over 2 yrs ago my oldest son emigrated to Canada from the UK to be with his Canadian girlfriend (this is her homeland so all her family here too), this was all in the middle of Covid & lockdown. Yes I was in pieces after he went, the lockdowns made me much worse because I couldn’t see an end & thinking that I would ever see him again. We did get to Canada in September this year to their wedding, I’m hoping to go myself mid 2023 and both me & DH for next Christmas. I am really sure & in time you will be ok, it is like grief/bereavement, it is a loss in one way. I imagine it’s worse as you have lovely grandchildren too, but looking to the future hopefully you will be able to visit, & for them to come home to visit you. Although you didn’t say where they have emigrated too, please don’t say Australia..I am much better since having been to Canada & the wedding, for me it’s no longer a loss but am very hopeful for my future with him included. Of course we what’s app & FaceTime regularly, which helps, I also know that I am going to really feel it when children come along. Then I’ll be posting on gransnet how do I cope, but until then I am in a positive place. It will ok to grieve for this, hope you have partner/family nearby to help you. Fill up any free time you have, to keep occupied will help… good luck

Bevispl…,yes they have moved to nearly the furthest they could go….. Australia. Which is doubly difficult as it’s 10.5 hours ahead so chatting is hard as we are in bed or they are. Mornings are fine at the moment as no school or work. But hey ho it is what is. 24 hrs from airport to airport is a long long time for us in our 70’s. But sure we will visit next year. Many thanks everyone yet again cxx

Well done Suieww, you've done the really hard bit so I hope you'll be able to enjoy Christmas.

We had a message from our DS in Perth, Aus. Mr. S. sent him a picture of the snow and he replied saying how much he misses snow, our Christmas decs and my Christmas dinner.

Well done, have a peaceful Merry Christmas. x