Feel bad for being 2nd

Invite them!

Celebrate holidays early or late- not the same day of the holiday

How about meeting them in other occassions that are not tied to holidays?
Good company is good regardless of the ocassion

Remember that Christmas is a season, not just one day. Also my immediate thought is that it must (unless you have health problems) be easier and cheaper for you to travel to see them than for 4 of them to come to you. Why not consider booking yourselves a short break near to them, just before or after Christmas Day. Take their presents and spend some time with the DGC?

Are the whole family in California? It's obviously easier to catch up with them all if they are all living nearby. It's a long drive with little ones - I haven't done it but would guess 24 hrs?

Maybe invite them to you next year as Ro suggests and meanwhile maybe invite them over the summer holiday period for a few days?
Alternatively, could you rent a holiday house in CA for a few days? I expect that depending on where you are in the Midwest, you can get a return flight for $200 (if you can be a bit flexible on dates)...
It may be easier for you to visit CA than for them to come to you.

This is the problem that many of us face when we have adult children living at a distance. It's a pity in some ways but we have encouraged our children to become independent and spread their wings so sadly this is one of the consequences of that.

Thinking of you.

Go to them, rent something nearby and make a holiday of it, much easier for the 2 of you to go visit and not just at Christmas either, try to go and see them more often.

Why do people spend so much time feeling bad about themselves. Living a long way from your children and grandchildren is quite a common situation, as is not having cousins, in these days of smaller families. These problems arise frequently. They are situations millions of families face.

The thing to do is look for solutions. Talk to your son, ask him whether he has any suggestions. In the posts above mine people have suggested lots of different situations, which you can discuss with him.

Situations like this are caused because people sit around 'feeling bad' instead of standing up and finding solutions, of which the first step is to talk to the other people involved about the difficulty.

"Situations like this are caused because people sit around 'feeling bad' instead of standing up and finding solutions, of which the first step is to talk to the other people involved about the difficulty."
I couldn't have put it better myself M0nica.

Thank-you for all the suggestions! Will try some of them!

Absolutely M0nica! Why don’t people just talk?!