My Introduction All About Me and My Daughter Texting Me GOODBYE

I know she receives my texts because the same number replies to the texts my other daughter sends her. I read my daughters phone but she won't reply anything when I had her tell her that I hurt my arm and leg on the ice this winter. She ignored that and kept talking about her dog???????? PURPLESILVERFIRE

Did you ask your daughter to forgive her abuser, all based on religion?
Not sure if I got that right

I take it you are from USA can you explain what ‘being mean’ to her means ? is it physical violence/psychological violence
You say your dad was ‘mean’ to you and your husband was ‘mean’ to your eldest daughter it sounds as if your daughter has been badly hurt growing up and now resents the fact that you are friendly friendly with her abuser
But I m not sure if I ve understood your post correctly it’s a bit disjointed

Purplesiverfire I think your problems are better dealt with by a councillor than a random collection of women, some of whom, could say things to upset you.

I am not sure how it works in the US, but it should be possible to find a councillor, online or in your area. If cost is a problem look for a charity offering councilling. Perhaps ones who offer help to abused children and adults or similar.one

I'm not sure I fully understood your post so please correct me if I have misunderstood.

Growing up daughter thinks dad should have made more effort to see her but she also didn't want to see him because she was afraid of him and he was not a good father?

It's understandable that she can hold both those opposing views, children often miss the parent they should have had.

Am I right in saying, she thinks your relationship with him now is more than friends and that is why she is accusing you of lying? You said that the bible says you should get back together after divorce, is that why she thinks that?

If it were me and my daughter was afraid of her father and didn't want a relationship with him now, I'm afraid that friendship would not be happening. A relationship would definitely not be happening. It wouldn't matter if he had found God or how much he turned his life around, my loyalty would have to stay with my daughter and what she felt safe and comfortable with.

Why do you believe your daughter should be responsible for her sister? She has no obligation at all there.

I can appreciate your daughter's reluctance to reconcile with her father, & now you because you have rekindled the relationship with him.

It sounds as if he abused her and then ignored her.

What reparations has he attempted to make to his child for causing her so much pain/damage?

Finding a faith is not magically going to heal the scars he has caused. He needs to respect her decision and be patient.

She is the person who should decide what happens, not you or her father.

You seem to have chosen him rather than your daughter. That is OK but you have to accept the consequence is that she will not be apart of your life.

As far as your daughter is concerned you have chosen your ex who your daughter is afraid of, over her.

You wouldn’t let her see him because she was afraid of him and now you want them all to be friends?

I would leave the Bible out of it and stop trying to get them together.

You could try calling. Why anyone would think they can sort out serious relationship challenges by text is just beyond me.

OP i think you need to stop texting and leave her alone. Your other daughter's disability isn't her responsibility it's yours and her father's. Why are you not upset the father is not in the paperwork?

Also, its offputtingly pious of you to band together with someone your daughter clearly distrusts to pray for her. Perhaps your disability makes social interactions a struggle. You could seek out support for this from a therapist?

Purplesilverfire I think you need to speak to a counsellor to help you sort through this issue and find a way forward for yourself

I think the best thing to do is to take a step back and respect the fact that your D doesn't want to have contact with you. As an estranged parent, I know this is hard but there's nothing else you can do.

Leave her to get on with her life while you get on with yours.

You need to let your daughter have her own life. There is no reason she should be on the paperwork for her sister, that’s your responsibility. I feel you expect too much of her and should let her live her life. I also cannot understand you being with the husband who you didn’t want in her life which was controlling, how must that have made her feel? You have chosen him over her, You have found your religion and not her, she can decide for herself.

Yes...I found your account a little baffling, but in all honesty, I think you need to let this go....for now. Jesus says don’t worry about tomorrow, just focus on the problems of the day. That’s enough for anyone. I know you can’t do this so specifically with everything, but in this instance....I think you can.

You have apologised, and that’s all you can do. To keep doing it could make things worse. Just enjoy what you can, while you can, and don’t try to change things you can’t.

As a fellow Christian, we know there is much better to come.

God Bless