My partner, passed away a year back, was abandonned at 5 then fostered by a family who treated him horribly.
He found it very hard to express love and thought all the time "If I'm happy now it won't last so I better not get used to it..."
We were together for over 20 years, and he needed to talk about it à lot.
Despite that, talking never really helped him, as the wounds were so deep.
However it helped me to understand him, and to realise that he loved me, but just had problems expressing it verbally. He was hurt too often in life.
So maybe explaning our abusive families to those close to us, or who we hope are close, may help them to understand a certain apparant distance in relationships exists. Also makes it clearer to our DH or DW that however much we love them and show it in many ways, it's hard to say and show it as some do.
I know if I didn't know of my DH's problems I would have probably missed out on a wonderful relationship, with someone who merited a better childhood.
It can be vital to talk, especially to those closest and loved, in my experience.
warped cutting mat - any solutions?
July 23 Limerick (continuation of July 21)