This is heartbreaking and so well expressed. One of the few things I was grateful for during Covid was that my mother had not survived to witness it.
She was once discharged into a carehome from hospital for rehab, but was still reasonably well. The home had to shut down due to some bug or other and we had to wave to her, like you, through a window. We found this so hard to deal with that the next day we signed the papers and brought her home.
I cannot imagine the pain you went through having to live through this for months.
I had my own particularly painful experience to go through at this time and find it very difficult to talk about- so I admire you for expressing yourself so poignantly in these words.