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AIBU

AIBU our 2 year old grandson has never had a home visit.

(31 Posts)
Sago Thu 15-Sep-22 19:22:33

Our daughter mentioned on the phone this evening that our grandson has only seen a midwife once, our daughter had to do a 25 mile round trip 72 hours after a C section to be seen at hospital, this was due to Covid.

She called the GP surgery today to see why he hadn’t had any home visits to be told the HV team no longer visit homes but can be seen at a hospital clinic, a 25 mile round trip!

Our daughter is so concerned for all the young families that will slip through the net as so many things will no longer be picked up on.

AIBU to think this could have dire consequences?

MawtheMerrier Thu 15-Sep-22 19:26:46

I agree.
If it were the case that only “at risk” families had home visits one might see the logic, but how can you accurately assess “at risk” without seeing the home situation.
Going back 47 years though my HV visits were a pleasant chat and a cuppa but I am sure she was taking it all in.

Iam64 Thu 15-Sep-22 20:12:14

You’re not being unreasonable.
Health visitors were central to supporting families, especially vulnerable families.
The devastation of health and social care leaves many children at risk

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 15-Sep-22 20:13:01

I didn’t have home visits, except by the midwife to check my progress after a C section. My son was only seen at the baby clinic at the GP’s surgery. This was mid 80s.

Callistemon21 Thu 15-Sep-22 20:17:44

There is still a Health Visitor service I believe, but it's a great shame if the days of the Baby Clinics are over.

Baby and pre-natal clinics were great for getting to know other expectant parents, for relaxation classes etc. Going to the local weekly baby clinic for baby to be weighed, chat to a HV about any concerns, for vaccinations, to chat to other mums and get to know them was reassuring and supportive.

The service was excellent and it's worrying if it is no longer available in some areas.

Millie22 Thu 15-Sep-22 20:20:00

No it is worrying.

HV care is nothing like it used to be. Mainly just phone calls.

Callistemon21 Thu 15-Sep-22 20:24:43

Germanshepherdsmum

I didn’t have home visits, except by the midwife to check my progress after a C section. My son was only seen at the baby clinic at the GP’s surgery. This was mid 80s.

The HV called when we first moved here; DD was three and I think it was a checkup call. When I asked for advice with a couple of problems she didn't know.

Farzanah Thu 15-Sep-22 20:25:29

As a retired HV I think it’s disgraceful the level (or lack of) of service offered. I knew all the parents on my caseload very well and offered extra support during the early weeks and subsequently, and they knew me well enough to contact me if they had a query or concern.
Of course you can’t assess risk without knowing a family, nor can you offer support. It’s stigmatising anyway to just visit “at risk” families. It should be a universal service available to all, as it once was.

Iam64 Sun 18-Sep-22 18:52:50

I agree Farzanah, it should be a universal service. In the 80’s , multi agency working was seen as the right way forward. In our social work team, we worked closely with the health visitors and midwives. If the were concerned we knew we should be

Enid101 Sun 18-Sep-22 19:47:50

Outside of covid, HVs usually visit the home when the baby is approx two weeks old, then again between 6-8 weeks. After that it’s rare to have a home visit unless there are concerns. Baby clinics still exist in our area and you can go every week if you want.

Galaxy Sun 18-Sep-22 20:54:57

Yes is this area dependent, the health visitors in my area do home visits.

ElaineI Sun 18-Sep-22 22:08:20

No home visits but DD2 has had to fill in forms for DGS2 progress and identify issues herself. He was seen face to face for his 3 ½ year check. He is 4 now. HV's do take phone calls. Fortunately he is thriving apart from poos on the toilet but there is a lot of help online. DD2 is a CAMHS nurse so is used to the forms and also triggers for concern which she has identified correctly in friend's children and got them help.

Nanagem Sun 18-Sep-22 22:23:15

My DIL hand her beautiful daughter on Thursday morning, discharged Thursday pm ( it’s her third so not a new mum ), but I spoke to her this morning ( Sunday ) and shes concerned the baby looks jaundice, me in my ignorance advised her to discuss it with the midwife at her visit ?. Apparently she had one visit on Friday morning and she doesn’t know if or when she will get another, she tried to call the number she was given and got an answer phone ! Still awaiting call back

aonk Sun 18-Sep-22 22:29:38

I totally agree that new babies need to be seen by Health Visitors. It’s a long time ago but I was in a bad way after the birth of my first child. I had no family support, lived in a second floor flat and had just had surgery for an unrelated illness. My Health visitor was a godsend. Her kindness and advice was invaluable. My daughter is now 43 but I still remember that Health visitor’s name.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sun 18-Sep-22 22:35:45

I can also still remember my Health Visitor's name from over 40 years ago.The same lady for all three children. She was brilliant when I had problems feeding two of my children.

annodomini Sun 18-Sep-22 22:46:10

There's nothing new in this. 47 years ago, I brought my 2-year-old son home from hospital with a colostomy, expecting to hear from my GP and/or a health visitor. No such luck. The nurses in the children's hospital had taught me well on managing the colostomy, but I'd have liked the reassurance of a visit. Luckily, the colostomy was only temporary.

icanhandthemback Sun 18-Sep-22 22:49:27

I have been appalled at the HV services in our area ever since my Grandaughter was born 11 years ago. My HV visited me 21 years ago to see where we lived and to get to know me. She was the constant in my son's journey up until he went to school and was the person who helped me get medical attention, see the nutritionist for him, etc. When my older son had problems, she kindly arranged for him to see a therapist who was a friend of hers to get over his school phobia.
In contrast, the HV didn't visit my daughter and never saw the same one twice at the baby clinic nor had she seen the same midwife twice throughout her pregnancy. Thus her PND was missed, her worries about her baby's size dismissed until I went down and was assertive about the need to see a paediatrician. A decent HV would have seen the the bond between mother and baby was sorely lacking so intervention could have been made much earlier. As it was, it took 6 years before the midwife for her second pregnancy who she saw regularly realised what was going on and set in motion the help she needed. Young parents need someone outside the family who they can discuss problems with and also someone who can identify problems.

LOUISA1523 Mon 19-Sep-22 07:33:07

icanhandthemback

I have been appalled at the HV services in our area ever since my Grandaughter was born 11 years ago. My HV visited me 21 years ago to see where we lived and to get to know me. She was the constant in my son's journey up until he went to school and was the person who helped me get medical attention, see the nutritionist for him, etc. When my older son had problems, she kindly arranged for him to see a therapist who was a friend of hers to get over his school phobia.
In contrast, the HV didn't visit my daughter and never saw the same one twice at the baby clinic nor had she seen the same midwife twice throughout her pregnancy. Thus her PND was missed, her worries about her baby's size dismissed until I went down and was assertive about the need to see a paediatrician. A decent HV would have seen the the bond between mother and baby was sorely lacking so intervention could have been made much earlier. As it was, it took 6 years before the midwife for her second pregnancy who she saw regularly realised what was going on and set in motion the help she needed. Young parents need someone outside the family who they can discuss problems with and also someone who can identify problems.

So where was the family when your DD had PND?????..... surely family or friends picked up on signs and symptoms and encouraged your DD to get support.....its hardly the HV fault that PND was 'missed'

LOUISA1523 Mon 19-Sep-22 07:35:21

Nanagem

My DIL hand her beautiful daughter on Thursday morning, discharged Thursday pm ( it’s her third so not a new mum ), but I spoke to her this morning ( Sunday ) and shes concerned the baby looks jaundice, me in my ignorance advised her to discuss it with the midwife at her visit ?. Apparently she had one visit on Friday morning and she doesn’t know if or when she will get another, she tried to call the number she was given and got an answer phone ! Still awaiting call back

She will get a visit on day 5 ( to complete newborn blood spot testing) ....you also have your GP if needed

Grammaretto Mon 19-Sep-22 08:05:01

That's such a shame there is so little support these days.
It was very hit and miss 50yrs ago too.
DH phoned after 10 days to see if we should have a HV but we'd been left off the list.
When the HV came she told me to throw my baby books (Dr Spock etc) in the bin and that my breastfed baby was screaming with hunger. the had tummy ache
She then mixed up a bottle feed with a lot of huffing and sterilising, while baby screamed. We fed him with a teaspoon as had no bottle. He stopped crying and HV left looking smug.
As soon as she was out the door baby vomited up the lot.

icanhandthemback Mon 19-Sep-22 11:39:37

LOUISA1523, we were there supporting but I couldn't get my SIL to speak to the HV as, although he was worried, he didn't want to betray my daughter's trust. My daughter also had a raft of medical problems because she became disabled after her pregnancy, losing her job as her company went bust, and that played a huge part of her PND. Every visit I attended with my daughter, it was a different HV and they said they would pass it on but nobody ever followed up. At the same time I was dealing with Adult Social Services for her, dealing with the Benefits System which took a year for them to sort out and then only after I had involved her MP. My daughter and I had a complicated relationship (we have subsequently discovered she has a genetic condition which in part causes anxiety and BPD) so I was stepping carefully too as I felt that if she estranged me, I couldn't help my grandaughter either. All of this was known by the GP, known to the SS and should have been known to the services which come to pregnancy and birth as my daughter had received much counselling as a child, had been seen by the Community Psychiatric Nurse, referred for MHS but rejected and so bore all the red flags.
I am not putting all the onus on the Midwives or the HV' but their voice might have helped get help earlier and would have had far more weight than mine to my daughter and the other professionals.

Grammaretto Mon 19-Sep-22 12:00:50

Such a lot of missed opportunities I canhandthemback
That first experience for me was awful but years later, in Scotland, I had the best possible care but by then I didn't need help.
My DiL was being given feeding advice from an American manual where formula was the norm and baby's weight gain was being compared to this chart which bore no relation to a British breastfed child.
It made me so cross I overstepped the mark and interfered. I have since been forgiven and DGD is 16yrs old, still small but just right for her.

icanhandthemback Mon 19-Sep-22 13:57:06

Grammaretto, it was the most horrendous time and a complete surprise to me. My DD was told she had PCOS and getting pregnant was almost impossible. She and her partner had only been together a few months when she accidentally fell pregnant and he was much younger than her so still a boy. She was so thrilled to be pregnant and had been absolutely wonderful with all her friend's and her sister's baby so it was a big shock when she didn't bond with her own baby. Thank goodness she has a much better bond with her second born. It has been delightful to see.

Grammaretto Mon 19-Sep-22 16:57:40

I am glad your DD recovered despite the lack of help at the time. Good wishes to her for the future..

twiglet77 Mon 19-Sep-22 17:06:20

I agree. When mine were born, all in their 30s now, I stayed in hospital until day 5 with the first, day 2 with the second and home in the evening after having the third. The community midwife visited at home every day for 10 days with each one.

My daughter has just had her second, she was home a few hours after giving birth, and the midwife comes out to do a 5 day and (I think) a 10 day check. There doesn’t seem any particular requirement to get the baby weighed at clinic each week. I suppose new mothers turn to the internet for advice now, rather than asking the midwife, and seek medical attention if they really feel it’s necessary.