Discreet enquiries

You could always order something from the same place and hope he delivers again. Then get into conversation with him. Other than that I wouldn't know how to find anything out about him.

If he delivers again, you could say something like "I expect your wife sends you off with a shopping list each day!"

It was the Tesco man. He did say "they had just got a new kitten" but how do you say, "who is the they?" lol. It didn't help that I'd just got out of the bath and had my towelling robe on.

I have never had the same fellow or even lady deliver twice. The lady was very chatty and all of the men, young or old have been very pleasant. You could always say, "do your children like the kitten or would they have preferred a dog?" and that may sort out the marital situation for you.

First of all rubylady you need to start by having more deliveries made. Buy less, more often and that way you have more chances to see him.

Secondly you need to make it clear that you are "available". Little hints like:

"Oh I don't suppose you could carry the bag into the kitchen for me do you? That's one thing I miss about having a man around...... blah blah blah"

OR

" Oh hello, its you again. Its so nice to see a friendly face when you are on your own"

OR

"I tend to buy little and often as cooking for one.........I hate to see good food going to waste"

OR how about

Changing the delivery time to later and you could say:

"Oh I bet your wife hates it when you are working so late"

Be prepared for the answer of "Yes she does !" in which case its Game Over !

Good luck. Keep us posted.

Oh Ruby Ruby Ruby

Subtle Gilly !!!

Are you turning into a cougar Ruby?

Wow gilly - you've done this yourself haven't you?

We have a Geordie saying that "shy bairns get nowt" Aka so no point in hanging around.

No GrannyTwice I haven't done it myself but I am desperate to get my sister paired off with someone (anyone???) so I have really thought about this. I think she (my sister) is a lost cause but I keep on trying anyway.

Gillybob this is eye opener from you! Are you very skilled at chatting up passing delivery men.

Well I must say I am shocked. As a male, not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, and one who has been fortunate to have worked around the world and witnessed, lets just say enough. I am obviously not as forward as perhaps I thought.
Ruby can I ask why be discreet if the intention is clear to you. All you risk is a dent to your pride, an answer you do not wish or plain rebuttal. I would have thought the "they have got a new kitten" is a decent clue or did he look as though he may still live with his mother? As for gilly's suggestions I am speechless but thank you for the education as obviously even at 65 have a lot to learn in terms of 'artful ways of women'.

The "artful ways of women" indeed ps the funny thing is that most some men can't pick up on subtle hints, so you just have to go for it. I have almost run out of ideas to get my sister fixed up. She really is a tricky one!

No Nelliemoser my chatting up days are well over and I am quite happy with Mr Gillybob number three thankyou.

So Gillybob is marriage better third time around? I love your replies, I will keep them in mind. I did think of booking same delivery time next week, see if he is on. There just seemed a connection but we'll see. I can talk to anyone but get a bit shy where men are concerned. That's because I was married for a fair while (19 years) and then in a relationship for 5 years so haven't done dating as such.

Nonu I turned into a cougar when I had a relationship after my divorce with a guy 18 years younger than me. It was great and lasted 5 years. We had so much fun and laughed every day. It ended because he wanted children.

ps I want to be discreet because I am an old fashioned girl and don't want to be seen as forward. I say "we" when talking about my son and I so he could have been talking about his children and himself. Even though I had a relationship with a younger guy, it started as friendship.

I think there are some really good suggestions here, I do think maybe being dressed next time might be a start, or then again...

Good ideas - must commit to memory for future reference!
My 44 year old neighbour, recently divorced has just bagged herself a rather dishy person through an internet dating agency so I did ask if he had, by chance, a much older brother (yes, but married) or even a Dad who was going spare (sadly died at 58). Oh well, keep trying.............

Yes rubylady Marriage is definitely better third time around although to be honest I don't have a lot to compare with as my first marriage only lasted a few weeks. It should never had happened. I was very young and was pressured into getting married. Disaster.

Second marriage lasted a wee bit longer but he sadly died.

Like you I haven't done much dating. I met my (current) husband at work. I was a secretary working in an Engineering company. He was really quiet and sent me some flowers to work on valentines day. He didn't sign the card and I didn't have a clue who had sent them. The guys in the factory were all pointing at each other and "guessing" who might have sent them. My (now) DH was the least likely person as he was so quiet.

I have tried all ways to get my sister paired off. She is hopeless. She does get dates but thats it. Nothing ever progresses from there. I tell her she is being too picky as she has a tickbox and her list of reasons for not seeing them again is something like this;

Too small, too tall, too brainy (???), talks politics (??), too good looking, not good looking enough, no charisma, no personality, too much baggage, too thin, too fat.....................

I do hope you pluck up the courage to go for it. He can only say no.

gilly I think you should give up on your sister, she clearly doesn't really want anyone, although she may not admit it!

An ex-work colleague is about to get married for the FOURTH time! I think she must either want an excuse for a party or need a new toaster....

Definitely the triumph of hope over experience.

Phoenix - an ex colleague of mine got married for the fourth time last year. She divorced the first, the second and third died and the new one now has cancer I think it's called not letting the grass grow. She was married to number 4 within a year of number 3 dying.

Golly! I can't imagine getting married again should anything happen to DH I like my own company too much and could move into a smaller house. I still wonder how an old flame is getting on; when we've met in the odd occasion we just carry on where we left off. We've known each other for just over 50 years! That is scary. I don't think I could trust anyone else - you hear such awful stories

why bother, I just cant be bothered with men, I don't mind the dating bit but after a few weeks they want to have 'cosy nights in' and we know what that means, also after a few nights in they don't want to spend their money going out and are content to be fed, watered and sit and gradually slob out in tracksuits. that's when I get bored. I think I would just be on my own, no one to tell me what to do, no one to want to turn the tv onto a different channel to the one I want to watch. Plus no smelly socks to wash. I loved my late husband but I hated the fact that he never cleaned the loo or washed dishes etc, I got resentful so no more men.

Silverfish Not all men are the same and like you I have been off them for quite a while now. But I do get lonely, my son in his room and me by myself watching tele at night so would like some company, a laugh etc. I do know what you mean though about them getting complacent and lounging around. I'll probably keep my eye open for a younger model and see if he is any different.

Gilly I thought I'd read that you are were secretly working at an engineering firm, I thought you were some sort of spy. Made myself laugh, at least. Sorry to hear about your second husband. Your sister does sound as though she has a very thorough list of what she is looking for, maybe she just wants to be choosy, although my friend of 35 years is now married to her second husband, small, roundish and bald but is the loveliest man you could wish to meet. So much nicer than her first husband who was moody all the time. I think age brings with it, for some at least, fussiness and being picky. I don't want to date anyone who wears suits for a job, much prefer the manual type (it's all those rippling muscles!). I want someone who is kind, quick to laugh and is good to his family. Other appearances are of no concern.

It's nearly (in December) 14 years since I divorced. I was married 16 years, together 19. I think the time is right now to be available for another relationship. I think we can close ourselves off, which is what I have done while my son needed more attention but he leaves for uni in two years so I really don't want to be alone then. My primary school teacher said that to put me in a room on my own would drive me nuts and I'm no different now although I do like my own company sometimes, just not 24/7. Maybe that's why I'm building the menagerie up, one dog, two budgies.

If it was 'slobbing out' on their 200ft yacht in the Med. I wouldn't mind at all