Hello everyone,
This is my first post and my reason for writing is that this is not a subject that I could never discuss to anyone and I was desperate for advice. Although to be honest writing the situation down may be cathartic in itself. So here goes:
I am estranged from my youngest son who is now in his late twenties. Since his mid teens he has committed numerous immoral and illegal acts. These involve drugs, theft, violence, sexual crimes and domestic abuse. Numerous women have suffered as a result of his behaviour but ultimately he has no convictions on file. We tried to help him in every possible way but we failed. For our own sake and that of his siblings we have had no face to face contact for several years, and approx two years ago he completely cut us out of his life. This was both heart breaking and I admit also a huge sense of relief. The rest of our family are also estranged from him as one by one his behaviour became more than they could tolerate.
I do have great relationships with my other children, my daughter in law and my son in laws. I adore the four grandchildren I have. They are the loves of my life and bring me untold joy. I have close and loving relationships with all four and see or speak to them every day.
My estranged son is now in a abusive relationship with a young and vulnerable young lady and they are expecting a little girl in June. All I can think of is this innocent child being raised in such circumstances. I also think of how much I love my current grandchildren and soon there will be another one and I wonder how I will feel for this innocent child.
I should also say I work in child protection myself and so know the reality of the system. Although I would have no hesitation in making a referral, I also know it would be unlikely the child be removed until after something had happened. And of course I do know that my son's girlfriend may well be a wonderful mother and in my heart I hope she will leave him. But right now that seems unlikely. I did think of reaching out to her but I admit I am too frightened of repercussions (from my son).
Hope this isn't too vague and re-reading it this comes across as if I have no feelings for my son. I do, I have, I love him so very much, I risked my relationships with all my other family as I forgave him again and again. But for their sake his psychopathic personality and unforgiveable behaviour mean I cannot risk him being in our lives again.
But that innocent little girl. I don't know how to feel, let alone what to do.
.Do you keen childcare (fairly) equal between your children?
